Nascent writing projects
Lauren Boggs Meslar 🙂 - it's fun having these loving conversations and also reminding myself that I perceive as the ideal, and where society will be heading; hyper local communities, return to wisdom of oral tradition and intuition, living well, no crime, gifting and trading - making so many professions and institutions obsolete and creating space for new ways to spend time and resources - is not here yet.
And I'll plant seeds. And encourage us to think. Do. And be bigger.
I'm glad folx are getting help and a little ease in a broken system. And I want SO. MUCH. MORE.
There is so much free or low cost informal education available in a library, or online with creators and web3... and even more potency in a conversation.
I can no longer support *any* policies that encourage college. It's a waste of time and energy and sitting in a classroom is anathema to how learning *really* integrates for all but a very few types of nervous systems. I'd like to see all education as unique to the individual. When we let go of control, our teachers/lessons are united with us. Any high school or college (institution) is going to be teaching a curated curriculum to a population. Except, we're a population of individuals and ANY curated anything is going to be rife with bias and agenda (even if I happen to agree with it)
This is my own little... soap box of late.
I always had the travel bug, and finally doing it has SHATTERED my worldview. In all the best ways.
So... as a... Jew-fi... mystic... wanderer... healer... guide... old soul... many things. I have an interesting relationship with Jesus. Well, for starters... I always found him: Pretty. Damn. Sexy.
I recall being in the basement of the Lutheran Chapel at Ohio State with my college best friend (she was on Pastor track, I was on Rabbi track - we met in interfaith dialogue group - we were the cool kids) - I was... mmmm... dare I say... lusting... after this gorgeous photo of Jesus. We laughed together "tall, dark, handsome... and... Jewish!!!" It always felt weird to me though, and wrong and so many things. As a Jew, Jesus was kind of persona non grata. And at that point I had religion but not spirituality, so my understanding of Jesus (or christ even) was "Good guy, existed, said some good things, not the messiah" - for the record, my perspective on this has changed. Great guy. Carried INCREDIBLE light. Performed miracles and taught some badass wisdom. And a harbinger of what all of us carry inside of us these days, and many have or are waking up to.
Anyway, I digress - so... sexy... connection... but I didn't know much more than that. Fast forward many years... (I call in a Seinfeldian 'yadda yadda yadda') my spiritual heart and third eye open and I start to have *tons* of experiences with Jesus. He shows up in my prayers/healings/meditations... my body starts being walked to his picture and/or prayer groups invoking his name, driven to places, called to notice... him. To connect to... him. Still... a litlle squeemish. And thinking - okay - being called to connect deeper religiously. I still dont' (and still don't) believe he's God. But.. okay... he's calling me. Heavilly. Deeply. Passionately.
Is this what folks mean when they say they found Jesus. Because if so... this is intense. Fast forward some time. I'm having more and more of these experiences, getting downloads I don't quite understand. Asking myself... WHAT WAS MY RELATIONSHIP TO JESUS??? His brother? What was I???
Finally, one day in a session with a healer I was working with, it came to light that my soul's origin is Pleadian - and I remark "wait - Jesus was Pleadian (I don't know if this was his first incarnation) - was I Jesus... WHAT IS MY RELATIONSHIP TO JESUS" - Laura, ever so calmly, because she's amazing, taps in. "You were his spouse. And you loved him so, and he loved you, and you were sad because of a mother wound - your mother killed herself and you carried that and he tried to hold you... and you died early in that lifetime, and you've carried a holding of himfor all these lifetimes... and... " I cut her off. "whoa... yeah this makes sense I've always had an uncomfortable connection... because of the Jew thing" "Yeah... and other people had a connection with Jesus, but for you it felt... intimate" Yes. Wizardry is real.
So... again meanwhile - the story I was intending to write about when I started this. IN March 2022 I went to the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona. Prayed... hard. Under a statue of Jesus. Guided to return the next morning upon learning that the statue's footprints were encased in the floor. And you could touch them and pray. So... I did. And when I laid my hands in "his" what immediately came through:
INSERT AUDIO CLIP - Adele: Hello From the Other Side
Never say spirits don't have a sense of humor.
Tears and laughter... and... alrighty. I love you too.
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RIGHT THERE
Nura (to Pippa her dog): Whenever I lose you - you’re usually right there…
Jed (her friend at the dog park): Sounds like a greeting card…
Nura: Yeah... I should copyright
Jed: . . . about God…
It was my third day of my second block in healing school. School to become a Sufi spiritual healer. To harness our direct connection with Allah, the divine energetic source, to become a conduit for healing.
Nura: Wow… (deflecting the impact, breath taken away) yeah, “closer than your jugular vein…” she said to herself under her breath… "I’m in healing school this week, will have to bring that to my classmates."
Nura (after sitting with emotions and tears): Hey...that really touched me…
Jed: Yeah… there’s a lot to unpack there…
Nura: Ugh…
Jed: Sounds about right… have a good class...
A few days later:
Jed (to his dog): When I call you, you don't answer... when I'm shouting you think I'm calling.
Nura: This seems like God's answer back...
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Healing. Spirituality. Connection. It's a funny thing. Or... it's been funny for me. It's... mostly in hindsight to be with how divinely connected I've always been. How many times things just worked out for me, or... never went poorly. Or... even more... WHEN they went poorly, I had clear signs. That I ignored.
And I needed to learn my lessons. And clear/create whatever karmic loops from whatever past lives.
My life, to this point has been... interesting. Chaotic and highly sheltered childhood where I sought refuge in my own world - seeking religion for structure and the concept of spirit. But didn't actually have spirit. (Except I did). Fast forward (don't worry, I'll go back) many years... much drama, trauma, psychosis... and magic... And I'm doing things... experiencing things I never thought possible. Things we're not traditionally taught and few, even my many doctors and healers, had seen. And. Some had. Thanks to those folks.
Worlds are opening up. Multiple dimensions. So. Much. Energy. Sharing this human body with me. And supporting, guiding and moving me from the outside.
Thank you team. I'm sorry I didn't listen. I forgive myself for... well.
And thank you God. Divine source. For assembling my team and tasking them to support me. Thank YOU for the love.
30ish years in the psychotherapy industrial complex. And now. Freedom. In spirit. In star family. In soul family. In light.
Nura Danielle - I start a new chapter. And I close out the old timelines.
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BUNNY
My dog was sent to be one of my teachers. Every time she goes to someone... Rubs up against them for them to "pet me love me."
I'm reminded of the time on the couch at a spiritual workshop, when I was being a "bunny" being pet in the lap of one of my spiritual teachers. He stopped. I gently pulled his hand so he could continue. I was soft and open to receive.
It's a lesson in progress. And the lesson is in progress. đź’—
She's also bold. Wise. Resourceful. Playful. Loving. Protective of me. And sets her boundaries with those she doesn't want to play with... initially. She teaches folks who don't know they need it. She also asks for... demands even... what she wants. And she doesn't like being told no. She accepts it though and sulks. She's deeply loyal. And deeply independent so long as she's got her anchor in proximity.
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I've had mystical experiences my entire life. Many of them in hindsight. Or. Aware of them but also not able to integrate. The many random people who just showed up with sage wisdom... God doesn't want you to be alone... Here is a job opportunity... Here let me hold you while you cry. And yet. For many years I went back and forth on the idea of a higher consciousness. I believed in a universal connection of all things. But I couldn't really put a name to that. And to my knowledge I hadn't encountered or experienced an actual connection to something bigger than myself beyond... Many many many beautiful coincidences. And. Things kind of always working out.
I now know most of this is because I was both filled with a shit ton of darkness. And. I was not embodied. At. All.
So when I was an atheist Jew. Or doing the Jewish things and actually having a lot of physical experiences but not realizing that's what they were mostly thinking they were just anxiety attacks... And not believing in God... But while having the anxiety attacks the theme was "it's not yours to take it's not yours to take" (my life - I wanted to and was trying to unlive myself. And it's synagogue something would open me and I would come into an anxiety field depression / anger with the knowing... It's not mine to take even if I didn't quite yet have... The knowing)
So this is taking a turn. Cuz I'm remembering so many stories. So many stories including stories about folks I've been in past lives who I relate to. And my own. But I'll pivot back.
I had been wrestling with severe mental illness. I had seen hundreds of mental health professionals. At one point a psychiatrist punted me to an acupuncturist who punted me to a healer. Even then it took over a year for me to see that I acupuncturist. And then another year for me to connect with that healer.
That healer it's a beautiful man named Amin - he grew up in the Catholic tradition and found his way to Sufism for his own healing. For those unaware, Sufism is the mystical branch of Islam.
I grew up in the Jewish tradition. And then dabbled studying or browsing many many other traditions. Curious. A seeker. Which was later validated in a non-religious spiritual tradition called human design which is similar to astrology but goes way deeper. Anyway.
In perhaps the first or one of the first conversations... Sessions... With Amin... I was a little skeptical. He introduced himself. Ask me what was going on. And then asked me if he could pray. I'm reminded now that the acupuncturist referred me to two different healers. And I had conversations with both of them but I connected more with Amin. I was skeptical with both and uncomfortable with both. And. Amin could reach me.
Halima, through no fault of her own, just triggered other things. I dismissed her wisdom or something. Perhaps she reminded me of my mother. I don't know. It doesn't matter.
I'm on the phone with Amin. It must have been our second conversation because our first I was walking to the doctor. So our second conversation. About a year later... I'm in my apartment in Washington DC. He is somewhere I think in Florida. And he starts praying. He prays the fatiha which is the opening prayer in Islam. He starts calling in the light of Allah, which for this Jew was a little weird and as I said. Skeptical. And as he's saying these words. I'm feeling my body. Perhaps for the first time. At least the first time like this. I start crying and wailing and screaming. And Amin is just holding space and continuing to pray. Occasionally saying some things in English - observations about what is happening for me. Allah is showing me a golden path and a love loves you so much. You're feeling a tornado in the left side of your body. (Yes! My body was spinning to the left. He was in Florida. I was in Washington DC. We were on the phone. What the what? - I've since understood and learned this way more and how to do this). I'm telling this part of the story and this actually really isn't the most juicy or the most important. All of this is the prologue.
That session opened me. And I proceeded to have a couple more sessions with Amin and he opened me so much that my needs became too advanced for him. But. In that opening... Following that opening. Perhaps immediately... Here's where the good stuff is...
One morning I woke up and my body was just moved. Uncontrollably moved as if operated by a remote control... My legs walked places. I showed up in front of a Pentecostal Church. I showed up in front of a group praying about Jesus. I showed up in front of a Baptist Church. I ended up later that afternoon being stopped on a street corner by a park I went to frequently. My legs were not able to move until three rabbis had walked by over the course of a 20-minute period (in past I told the story and people said, how did you know they were rabbis, I was involved in the Jewish community and I know plainclothes rabbis). I showed up in front of my buildings TV screen when a preacher was on. I believe I also showed up in front of other faith traditions. The lesson was clear. Find God. Believe in God. It doesn't matter what tradition. Who's tradition. Any tradition. Find God. Know God.
Many more mystical experiences. Many experiences similar to that. And thinking about tonight and the conversation I had with Mormon missionaries.
Find God. We're source. Or source. Whatever works for you.
There may be a deeper truth. I believe there is. I have had experiences and/or studies to validate that there is. And. What matters is to find the path that works for you. These two young men found Mormonism and it is saving their lives. It works for them. I don't agree with prostelezation. And it didn't become relevant in our conversation. They shared their personal stories about their connection to Mormonism and a couple verses in scripture. I shared my personal stories. I thanked them for sharing their personal experience and expressed gratitude that they had that personal experience that worked for them. I can't help but have a little bit of nod nod ;-) hope that something I said may have cracked the missionary thing... When I emphasized that it works for them and that we all need to find what works for us. And that's neither here nor there.
Connection to spirit is the mission these days. Whatever way. Many ways. My path is the no path. Or the many paths. And some folks need a path before they can get to know path. It probably would have helped me and not. Know God.
I'm reminded of early on in my Sufi studies the downloads I would receive. Stop studying just receive. Know me.
My teacher's teacher wrote a book called he who knows himself knows Lord. Interestingly I was just freaked out by a giant hummingbird moth as I dictated the sentence. Hi Sidi. Thank you for helping me so much. And understanding / telling me to take a break right now.
There is no consciousness but consciousness. God is everything. Consciousness is everything. There is no God but God. And we're all God. We're all permutations of consciousness of the divine of everything. We're all divine creators. And our task is to know. To be our unique permutation.
To know ourselves. It's interesting, long before I believed in God even though I'm confused about the whole thing I understood all this. The journey was to know oneself. To take off all the crud in the crap of conditioning could have never said it this way and there was a lot of crud and crap and conditioning. And society and stuff.
Know me. Know yourself. There is no separation between God and self. Consciousness. I can think of so many things that I've learned or channeled or all of it. He who knows himself knows his Lord. Knows consciousness.
Find what works for you. For a time that was finding an outside source. And now it is and it isn't. It's knowing that there is no separation. It's knowing my unique energy frequency and aligning 100% to that. It's being authentic it's feeling safe it's holding my authenticity for me while loving others authenticity for them. They may be a mirror and a reflection of me. And mine is mine. There's is theirs and where we can operate in interdependence. Wahoo.
I'm wondering and wandering wizard of light. I am Nura, bridge and translator among religions. Ministering love and light and universality and the charge to know oneself and to love all as you unique and connected.
I am a wandering wizard. I speak truth I speak light I speak kindness I speak story I speak connection I speak joy. I am love. I choose love. Alhamdulillah.
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