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All we need to do is show up.

Spirit'll do the rest.

I went to dance class today. Pushed through some resistance and voices... and a 25 mile roundtrip... venturing to another part of town and back... and danced. I deeply wanted to dance... and I felt also called elsewhere. And... I wanted to dance. So I did.

A peer started drumming... and Pippa was cold... so... inspired, I went to the van... and a scarf for her... and then... my new drum... and play.... PLAY... dance... move... and create... love.

I had recently been called to acquire a beautiful drum from the Pueblo. With some hesitancy "when will I use you (you'll see), where will I store you (in your bed) am I able to treat you with the reverence you deserve (you will), etc" the drum instructed me to take ownership anyway... and to also purchase a blanket that could multifunction as a cape for me... and loving container for her. And, in receiving, I would step up to meet its needs... and its use would show up... Okay... I won't ask why or what... I will do and I will listen... I will show up.

So today... (and yesterday in creating sacred space... for the drum... and for me...) We (the drum and I) danced. Made music. Made light.

And when the dance was over, we were invited to ceremony.

A peer - Judah, a Kohen in the Jewish tradition - had offered to perform a ceremony of union for the dance steward, and her partner (who happened to be the drummer) - I was invited to witness, and to add my flavor of medicine and light.

Some resistance. "Is this appropriate?" = Judah lovingly encouraged "c'mon, you're here... ask (bride) and feel her out... if she doesn't want you, then okay" Neither of us were a strong yes or a strong no... so... it was. And eventually.

Surrender...

As the downloads and breadcrumbs in meditation and daily life were coalescing.

The location was to be a local spring that my intuition had said earlier "go to that spring you were told about, this afternoon" - okay Spirit... I see you.

The couple and Judah both had concern - "is the spring the right spot... will it be sunny... how about xyx" - and, despite never having been to the spring (in this lifetime) I knew... it was the perfect spot. So I piped in. "You know... I'm curious about the spring" "Okay..." said Judah "We'll go... we'll see... and if it's not sunny, we'll find another spot"

As the bride was meditating, before we made our way from the dance studio to the spring... I felt called... to drum... and let spirit move my arm and my vocal cords... and channel... "Light. Sanctity. Witness. Joy... Love... Light... Sanctity... Power... Wisdom...Sanctity... Joy... Love'

And so it was.

Soon... we were on our way to the locale. Which was perfect.

No photos were taken - perhaps too sacred, or we were just present enough... There was a tree branch that functioned as 2 poles of the Chuppah and the officiant and I each held two more. The water glistened and sang, and the sun, the sun shone directly on all of us. Perfectly.

Before the ceremony of union, the bride partook of sacred medicine of her heritage... while I drummed in grounding and expansion. Thank you to the spirits of all directions. And for bringing us to this day.

Judah had the couple each circle each other 7 times and set intentions - connected to the sheva brachot. They shared deeply beautiful vows and Judah shared wisdom. Including gematria and symbolism for their names, and their names in union.

They kissed and I felt called to sing "siman tov u'mazel tov" as Judah joined in... and so it was.

The love and light in the space was palpable as the sun shone directly upon our way... and I felt reverent to bear witness, and cocreator, of this beautiful union.

We shared a meal, and Judah shared more wisdom... notably though, he would occasionally ask what time it was. He had an appointment to be on time for. We had complete privacy at the spring for the ceremony - and right as it was "just time to go" another visitor arrived to interrupt. "Oh spirit - always giving us the ending and keeping us on perfect pace." - and so it was.

All you need to do is show up - spirit will do the rest.

When I returned to my van, I noticed the license plate of the visitor...

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I choose to love.

Even.

Especially.

When I feel rage.

I choose to love you - the soul who molested my body, and you - the soul who stole my belongings and you - the dog who attacked another dog or another human.

So that now I don't feel free. And my we must be leashed and caged... because its for our own safety - we need to be "protected" from "you."

I choose to love you.

Even when I feel rage in a series of systems that have created cage upon cage upon cage (a fence around the law?) in response to a threat that could have... and could still... be mitigated... with love.

I choose to love, even as I rage, as I cry, as I wheeze... that no matter the affirmations, the meditation, the divine light and exercise... and the 'knowing' - I still *feel* afraid... small... still. And even when *I* feel fine and when I choose to BREAK the rules... someone reminds me that I "must" or that "they're for your own protection"

NO. NO NO NO.

I choose to be free.

And I choose to love through my anger. And I FEEL the anger.

In a world - knowing that I am free - yet feeling trapped in a mind... a maia... a world trapped in the maia - and getting boxed in. Again. And again.

I choose to be grateful... to be awake... and to release the rage that I feel *everything* and often do not know... if what I'm feeling is mine. And even more often... to distrust the voices that answer... when... I ask.

I choose. To just. Be free.

Despite all the rage. The race. The voices.

I choose. To just. Be free.

What evokes more freedom. I choose that.

I don't need to know. I balance desire/intent... and divine timing.

I choose expansion. I choose love. I choose to honor the voice of my inner child who wants to play and scream. The voices of my ancestors who want to be heard, the voices of my soul who just yearns to be. Free. Free of all the energy that isn't mine. Flying, singing, dancing. LIke the others, but like... me.

Not needing to know. Not needing to fix. Wanting only to be free. And to forgive. To be free. To know. SElf. to know. God. To release the mind. The maia.

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Love. Love.

A letter to love.

A letter *to* love - directional - love is the recipient

A letter to *love* - descriptive - the letter is worthy and the object of love

A *letter* to love -

And I find myself in a rabbit hole of the beauty and limitation and infinite possibilities of our words...

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Everything is provided. Everything is connected. Spirit moves us and reaches us in infinite ways. Can we feel safe enough in our body - in our trust of spirit - to fully surrender. To receive. To be with our bodies and the... energies... and... surrender.

That. Is. The journey.

To know self.

Becuase "He who knows himself knows Lord"

To know self is the journey.

What do *I* desire.

At a soul level

As different from what do I *want*

At an egoic level.

Who feels *goooood* to spend time with. In which context do I expand.

And in which do I contract.

And why... in each context...

So I can know.

Self.

Hello Nura, I inquire of you - what do you... what do I... desire.

Expansion. Peace. Extasy. LIght.

Embodiment. Love. Travel. Creation. Curiosity.

Being.

And what gets in the way? Is it actually important? (It is, but not at the level we believe)

Being. Being. Being.

You CAN'T do it wrong. Because spirit is always moving things around FOR us.

We can make it simplier and easier and we CAN'T do it wrong. All we have... get... all that is required is to be...

FREE.

We are

FREE

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It's prescient that the last thing I published was about things falling apart in order to get me on my path.

This happens to me over and over and over. And was a download while I was in the shower earlier. Ugh.

Cue, right now, I'm in a parking lot... LOCKED in a parking lot.

I went to a show. Hemmend and hawed - should I go 30 minutes to the campsite? Find something else to do/place to stay? Here's what I'll do... I'll distract myself with tik tok (knowing full well it's not in the highest... except...) fast forward, i'm ready to leave, to embark on... whatever... and, there is a gate to the lot. I'm locked in.

Okay. Nervous system is grounded. Light coming in. I AM glad I went to the show. It wouldn't have been wrong to stay at the campsite and not go to town, some guides were really pulling me to stay... I wanted to leave and come back... and... that was a timeline... and... I guess I'm on this timeline now...

They tried to warn me... I didn't understand the message...

So... I guess now I'm writing. That's another thing that's been guided... write beloved... I had a sense I needed to ground and write. I also thought I was going to dance and pray at the water, under the stars... campfire... etc... I guess I'm doing some of it... here.

Goodness so many things need to "break" so I commit. For now. Thank you guides. Seriously. What would be higher to do instead? I'm hearing "listen to us" - that doesn't feel right, because the message wasn't clear. Tonight I would have not done tik tok, Maybe started a conversation with folx I wanted to. It would have changed things. And this is all fine.

So. I'm writing. On other stuff.

Lots of downloads. Surrender. Choice. Love. Wisdom. Downloads integrating even if they aren't generating words right now.

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x From my forthcoming anthology about divine perfections: A spilled salad, a discharged battery and other ways my angels, ancestors and guides helped a (formerly stubborn and wounded) wizard step into light and joy.

I've historically experienced mistakes as catastrophic, irredeemable experiences. Growing or being in relationship with folx who had strong tempers, perspectives, perfectionistic qualities and limited emotional availablity or communication skills cemented these qualities and intensities into my nervous system. There's something about generosity of perspective I can have with others that often eludes my immediate vision. And I'm grateful to be experientially learning this wrong, over and over.

I recently bought a van to be my home. And with home... or any ownership... there's a learning curve. I've been breaking things left and right. And. At first, I kept looking to these experiences as "oh, you fucked up, you bought a lemon.... you're screwed, you shouldn't have trusted those people, they... this is horrible, find a way to end it" - and because my wounded parts believed this, it was very easy for demons, dark entities, negative and defeatist energy to latch on to this belief and send energy to words like "lemon" or "attorney" and fear when I heard the word "lithium battery'" - my programming was - this is broken so it was real easy for everything external to start validating that. Except it didn't work.

Things were breaking, except often times they weren't what they seemed, or weren't that bad/complicated and a quick fix and change of perspective and willingness to not give up, was all it took. I am humbled and grateful to have shifted this perspective, and been willing to... not go down the defeatist rabbit hole that... I have in the past. And I received the gift of being treated with softness and love - and treating myself with softness and love, in connection to these experiences. In the bigger picture... things needed to fall apart, so they could be put back together with love, wisdom, learning and grace

Within the first week of ownership, I scraped my roof, and theirs on a fast food drive-thru overhang, I got a custom made table... stuck beyond anything I had, or could even imagine what the proper tools would be absent taking the whole bed apart, the hot water wasn't working, the igniter in the stove wasn't working, and a number of other small things.

Things were breaking. I was breaking.

The first one.... I felt awful, mortified, and... grateful for the lessons. I've hit objects with vehicles in the past. And Been angry, freaked out, sometimes shamed. When this happened, it SUCKED for sure. And. I was calm, in a way I've not historically been calm. I treated myself with kindness and my nervous system was still. The fast food restaurant workers were kind. The Owner was kind, the fellow patrons were helpful and playful in getting me unstuck. The insurance company has been kind ("yes, this happens more than you would think, you're not used to driving it" The night of the incident, stressed and hungry - which is why I went to get the burrito (or a spirit said 'find the next taco bell' when all was said and done, completed giving my information and statement, I still didn't get my burrito. The worker went inside to retrieve it. When he came back, he had two... and a fist bump to send me on my way.

Stuff. Happens. We love ourselves and each other through it.

Thank you.

In the weeks following, all those things were broken and all of my mind stories were thinking catastrophe... angry various. Whatever, I'll push on... I had tried to reach the bulider, thinking they were the only one who could help me - I couldn't imagine anyone else able to hel with this weird issue. - and when they were unreachable it furhter cemented my false story.

I asked a friend for support, and others, and because of my energy, they seemed to validate the "you're screwed" narrative - the energy I brought and became self fulfililng. Except, I prayed about it, I asked my akashic records "It'll work itself out" - in my ego-mind I believed, I'd contact the builder. That... is not what the records said.

One of my big lessons and brilliances, and if I haven't written about it much, I will write about it more, is that everything we need is always right in front of us, every problem has a simple solution - it's just not always immediately in plain sight and requires... a broader sperspective. Over and over I've either experienced this, or, experienced the optimal solution right after I took the "settling" solution (see peeing in bushes only to walk 50 yards afterwards and encounter a toilet facility) ..

So things are broken. More and more. Now my solar system seems off. It seems functional I just don't know. Everything is "fine" and I'll deal with it later. I go to leave the campsite. Say goodbye to friends I've made.

Except somethign says, don't go. And. I eventually turn around. Humbled.

I asked for help from a couple whom I had become friendly with at the campground. We had spoken for hours over the past 3 days, I had been fed, received left overs, offered to camp together, shared reciprocal personal stories, and I still had mind and body stories, interpretations of (non) facial expressions... (incorrectly, probably) mind reading that I was a burden.

They were glad I asked for help and lovingly supplied it. We went through diagnostics, The male counterpart, D was familiar with one of the systems and showed me the app to manage it (I never receive this info from the owners) It took some time of playing around, reading manuals, testing terminals and resetting fuses... and eventually, after going through everything, my electrical system was functioning again. Hooray.

So that was done... thank you... ready to go. Except, um... maybe I can get help on my table... you never know. It can't break more I humbled myself "I messed up this table, my only thought is a long metal yardstick and even then I'm not sure that'll supply the leverage.... otherwise we need to take the whole thing apart" I had already received help and time, and felt... feelings... I kept silencing that smallness and not sending them away... he had an idea "maybe my tent pole would work" - the female counterpart L kept going back to their site this whole hour with loving support. Generosity, at no point did they validate my mind/body stories of being unworthy or too much... 5 minutes of finagling (only 5!!!) and my table was restored. Something I had been angry and panicked about at multiple levels, and it was now... fine. Because I asked for and received... help... and out of the box thinking. And, the exact tool and people were... right there. In front of me. That tent pole was the perfect tool. I had to break here and be fixed. Here.

Because of divine perfection. To put everything back together.

Because the other thing broke that I "needed" to ask for help... and... the icing on the cake... later that afternoon I went to cook lunch, prepared as usual to light my stove with a lighter.

The igniter worked. I have a theory that the battery discharge and monitors had to malfunction in the perfect way that we would reset and test... everything to get... everything back in order.

Halleluliah. Divine perfection indeed.

Somewhere in Utah. In a canyon. Buckhorn Wash - the name enters my memory.

Driving. And stopping. Periodically. At what appear to be "sites." A dinosaur track here. Petroglyphs there. A hike. An overlook. And a group of high school students on a climbing trip.

I am present to the silence. And the echo. My companions are many feet away from me (see little red climber and/or our vehicles) - and yet, each comment, laugh, and hit of the hackysack resonates through the entirety of our environment.

Wonder. Ancient. Communication.

With the petroglyphs next to me, it would stand to reason this road was placed, not carved. With dinosaur tracks in various places... Who lived here at the same time. Who lives here now.

Grateful. Resonant. Wandering. Alive.

+++++++

Standing in front of pictographs and petroglyphs. Reading the placards. Feeling the vibes. Body feels corded. And. They release as I twist and shake and spin and burp and utter.

This, similar to so many experiences in this region of late. Except, it's different. Quieter and I allow a greater release. I have my nest. My cave on wheels. The nervous system is coming out of survival. So it may fully release and recalibrate. And. We may write. Process. And venture toward thrive.

What is my relationship to this land. I know I've been here before. Nice to see you it says. Welcome home. I feel welcome. I feel safe. I am able to let go. Let it flow. Cry and wail. And allow.

What's next.

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I believe in boundaries. Not rules. I believe in guidelines. Not rules.

We are energetic, multi-dimensional beings. We are in these bodies to heal and learn and grow, our souls. And. To use our advanced consciousnesses to heal and ascend and elevate the planet and beings on the planet. Mother Gaia - Earth is raising to the 5D frequency and we're being tasked to elevate for and with her.

Anything not love, abundance, light, grace, sovreignty, ease and peace is being purged out. In whatever way. The *easiest* way is to learn energetic techniques for alignment and follow flow, in surrender - whatever that means for you and your unique energetic blueprint. There are harder ways. And, universally, the universe, benevolent guides, higher self and soul loves us all, and has a vested interest in all of us, being on our unique path. Because if everyone is on their highest alignment and highest timeline, then... exactly that. The universe operates with divine perfection. Each left or right or yes or no affects the left or right or yes or no of infinite beings and situations down the line, like one gigantic perfect puzzle or game of chess - it's all ultimately perfect to achieve the optimal result - in the fastest and straightest, or slowest and windiest way possible, it's all going to work out perfectly. In whatever time (or not time because time is a construct) or way.

And, for ease of experience and maximal joy... being in alignment with the highest makes things so much smoother and requires so much smaller of an energy investment. The body, even the mind, and the universe send myriad signals as signals and lessons

Be the light. Be the vibration I desire to attract. Be the cash buyer. Be the person for whom money is no object. Be the lottery winner. Be the "rule" breaker. Be authentic.

Be joy, play, abundance, sovreignty, peace, alignment. Be bold. Be kind. Be wise. Be boundaried. Be loving. Be whole. Be worthy. Be confident. Be assertive. Take risks.

Fly. Share. Be. Be. Be.

Be who you ARE - which is different from who (you're been taught) you're supposed to be. Your body knows. Your soul knows. YOU know. You just do. All of you - awake or not, traumatized or not, veiled or not. You know.

There are tools - astrology, human design, gene keys, past life regressions, hypnosis, therapies, meditations - THESE ARE GREAT TOOLS. And, they are tools. To know. You.

Tools. Guidelines. Supports, to cleanse conditining and unpack... what's already there. It takes courage, for sure... to follow and be you in a world that tells you to homogoenize. And the best thing you... and I can do... is to be... you. Unapologetically. Because then we can all easily and efficiently line up into divine perfection and ascention that is the birthright of this time. That we chose to incarnate for. As healing and expansion and light is increasing so are our gifts and opportunities and ways to create. We are here as divine creators. Lightworker. Wayshowers. Light blowers. All of it. Joy. Peace. Ease.

Play. More than anything, we're called to play. Not all of us, mos tof us though, because play is the highest access to learning, and love is the highest frequency.

PLay is high vibration. It is flow. It is ease. It is love. Light. Joy. Delight. Creator energy. And this world - this planet is a playground. To play. Create art. Be. Joy.

Expansion. Light. ease. Love.

Downloads - don't make committiments and/or back out gracefully. Write - just write - and/or don't make the committments to write. Be in flow. Honest, authentic, integrity flow. Light. No rules - we don't get out alive, it's all temporary anyway... play, light, etc. If it's not a hell yes, it's a no (with energetic caveat but, sure) - remember and integrate the things from all the years, and... I know it intuitively, slow down the NS to follow and have the courage to follow and say the things.

Confident. Bold. Authentic.

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

Pause and wait. Do. Allow. Awesome!

Let if flowl Let it go. Let it be. Let it glow. Got this. Thank you spirit. I put forth a funeral for any scared, small, dark, hiding, shadow, sad, angry, weak, hostile parts.

I celebrate the life you had - how you protected me (and kept me small but... safe... ish) I thank you - and I celebrate that being that no longer exists.

Those parts are sent away. Buried. I honor you and let you go, into the love. I honor and celebrate your life. And say - no more. You are released and buried to integrate with the earth again. Buried to decompose and create nourishment for new *healthy* life. Buried and decomposed and celebrated. NO more am I (or do I embody) weakness, fear,

impatience, doubt. I align with love. Knowing, peace, compassion, stillness, comfort, nourishment, worthiness, grace. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am.

I am NURA. LIGHT. LIGHT. light! iLLUMINATED. iLLUMINATOR. Wise being of compassion. Creator. Rule breaker. Wandering mystic, wizard, healer, guide. Of the highest. Integrating.

Receiving. Growing. Being. Love. All of it. Love. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am.

No rules. Occasional tools. All love. IN flow. Connection. Compassion. Mystery. Joy. Presence. PRESENCE. PRESENCE! Activated. Real. Alive. Forgiven. All here. All clear.

Love. Here.

Thank you spirit, for breakng things so I may learn and heal them and learn from the experience.

Here's what I know to be true. 8 billion human beings. 8 billion source codes. 8 billion bodies. 8 billion ways of being in the world. Interacting. All of it. And I've written on this before - each of these 8 billion human beings has unique permutations of what will enable them to heal. To thrive. To complete missions.

Some are meant to travel. Some to stay still. Some to share. Some to hoard. Some to be well. Some to be ill. Many to be ill. So we can heal.

THe mission, for many - for all eventually - to find spirit - source - alignment with the greater-than. For many, that requires illness, for the recognition that we are living in a sick society. We, at our core, are well. Born well, perhaps with some veiling and old lessons embedded in our bodies, and, well. But (and I use that word only in the most necessary of circumstances) we are born into a sick society. So, we become sick, as our bodies change to adopt the frequency of the sick society, or the sick frequencies embed in us. So, to heal, we return, to our light. Our essence. OUr source. Our knowing as spiritual beings.

Much of my journey has been learning the path of surrender. And. Discernment. Surrender to the "I don't know" space and being willing to take the leap. To have the conversation to make the friend, to enter the store, or the campsite, or the hotel or... or. It has also been discernment of when to say "no" - that is not a perspective I hold, that is not something I'd like to do. The greatest teacher in that, is the body. Because the "no" of resistance to the (potentially, actually) amazing experience is *different* than the no of "that's not my jam" - and there's also a lot of self forgiveness required for... saying the first no, and not saying the second. This is where trauma comes in. And.

It also can be healed. By coming to spirit.

We are spirits in bodies. There is no separation between us and the divine, the greater perfect puzzle and chess game of pure form. Aligned. Ascended. Light.

My path (and many) is surrender. Several years ago I was working with a clinician who introduced me to the "I don't know" space. Around the same time I was a participant in a meditation practice called "Surrendered Leadership" - the premise being, going with the flow, following the unknown, and, during this time period I encountered the spiritual practice of Sufi Mysticism. At all of their core - in theory if not in practice... sadly... of all... was the notion of letting go. Actually, I had also been in 12 step rooms for years and the 3rd step is also essentially, "letting go" - the notion that if we remove the control of our minds/stories, allow divine essence, frequency, flow to carry us without resistance, healing is possible. Other spiritual practice goes on to talk about infinite possibility, which is also part of my journey.

Now, all of these practices had humans involved - with their notions "here's how to surrender" "I don't know... and do this" "Surrender... this way" - now, that's not actually surrender. And that's okay - it's just a testament to how strong the ego/mind is, and our bodies need for certainty and control.

But, that's not surrender or spirit. It's still control.

Surrender is unique to the individual being. Frequency and flow is unique. And. It's the way.

Even though Sufism isn't my path, the frequency has potency for my being and its an understanding of the universe that has value. One of my teachers, also of Jewish lineage in this lifetime once said to me "Remember beloved, Israel means to struggle with God, Islam means to surrender... it helped me, maybe it'll help you"

So. Yes.

My broader understanding of life, spirituality, cosmology and divine perfection, is different and broader. And. This is a beautiful and potent piece.

Now, boundaries, knowing of I AM - ness, sovreignty, light, connection, flow. Teachers and wisdom shows up. Send away energy not mine. Love. Flow. Ease. Peace. Gliding. And discernment. Saying NO to beings, parts, entities, and humans that aren't aligned. I see you, no thank you. And. Yes, to those delicious risks. Leaning in to love. Receiving and knowing. Leaning into the heart. Leaning out of the mind. Being the love. Trusting the bigger picture and process *when* the body has the knowing. Letting go of mental analysis or even understanding. And forgiving.

Separately - guides, when I 'miss' things, I'd rather not know (at least for now) what the thing you were trying to guide me to is/ was. Because, then I cling and want to mulligan, and it seems like that's not really aligned either. I ask you, loving guides, to help me know peace and receive you with gentleness. Show me living experiences. Show me play and fun and connection and light. In this moment, I'm trying to "think" of a way you can speak softly to me, of a way I may listen to you. You've placed the memories of situations, and I didn't 'follow' - will I now? Because so many spiritual truths... Please, guides, speak with one voice as you guide me towards the hightest. Please, guides, prevent me from

making further (wahtevers) to sabotage. May I know peace and enjoy this HOME for a WHILE until it is TIME to get something else. May this WORK for the highest. May the saboteaurs be neurtralized in all energetic capacities. May I receive. May I love, may I only know the light.

I am Nura. Light. May I be the change. May I hold boundaries, may I neither dim nor share with those unworthy... or unready. I am a lightworker of many things. Grateful to be the vibe. Grateful to heal the planet just by being me. Whether by aura or as a role model. May I know that each time "something falls apart" it's actually made better, temporarilly or permanently. Revealing something. Enlivening.

May I see the long game and be patient and allow the long game. May I love. May I receive. With softness and love. May I communicate my feelilngs with clarity, ease and grace. May I know myself. May all beings know peace.

I am a wandering wizard, modern gypsy, healer, lightworker, guide, medicine woman, psychic, activator, wonder woman, potent divine master. I am. I am. I am.

I am. I am. I am. And everything I need is *always* in proximity. And. By the time it enters my field, it is in my field. Thank you thank you thank you all the spirits. I choose to be light. I choose to choose. I choose to flow. I choose to receive. I choose to right. I choose to let the words flow. I choose to discern. I choose to be light. Thank you

I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I choose to be ME. I choose to respond. I choose to be aligned and follow my sacral authority. I choose to have boundaries. I choose to heal

I choose to change my attachment style. I choose to meet my own needs - and allow others to where aligned. I choose to be patient. I choose to let go of story. I choose not to know. I choose to wait. I choose to allow others to do things for me. I choose to delegate. I choose to be the visionary creator. I choose. I am light, I am light I am light. Than you spirit. Everything is working out. It is supposed to be easy and it will be easy. It gets to be beautifully easy, because I have so much love and support in the 3D and beyond. I feel you. Thank you. Ya fattah. I feel you on my body. I allow you to come in.

And I hold my power. My name is N U r a. Nura. not Nora. NUra. N "uuuu" ra. It is close, but it is NOT my name. My name is Nura. Light. I am light. A light worker. Unapologetically me. Forgiver of others, forgiver of self, and, me. Nura. This is Pippa, not Pippi, or Peppa, PIppa. Names matter, the are what we call ourselves, and go by. Energy matters. It matters and I hold it. Thank you spirit.

Thank you to... him... for introducing the "I don't know" space. And... introducing... the integrity. The concept. It irks me when folx promise thingd for people - "you will achieve" - maybe. Possibly with great likelihood. And. No certainty. Promising certainty feels dark to me. The human condition is mysterious and there is so much unseen and also myriad factors. Perhaps the conclusion is "certain" under optimal circumstances - and can anyone guarantee? No. So. "I don't know" with *gentleness* - Hey - I have XYZ experience and here's what I'm bringing through. I have a high level of confidence this will work, and it depends on many variables. This feels true to me - how does it feel to you?

I have a strong feeling... "knowing" can only be 100% validated in hindsight, and even then there are mental constructs to interrupt. Surrender tho - to the unknown... to find out. To allow. And also, to allow multiple perspectives. Spilling salad dressing, a negative, OR a blessing... what's the perspective.

I choose to view EVERYTHING as a blessing. EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING. And I thank all spirits. I choose to be in the unknown. To love my sweet dog. And be. LIght and only light. I choose light. I choose to transmute or walk away from not-light. I choose to speak truth to hippocracy and/or walk away. I choose to discern. I choose to hold my field. I choose love.

I choose to be the wandering wizard, at times incognito, at times available and published. I am Nura. Available to coach. Available to be held. Available to just play.

Available to podcast and write. Available to dance and expand. Loving all the way.

May I know peace and light.

------------------

I'm kind of obsessed with my dog. We know this. One of many things I love about her is her resilience and her perseverance and her magical abilities. Occasionally... Now more often... We go hiking. And I will find some way to scale some rocks. It's not always the easiest for me. Finding whatever foot hold or why I can get up and maintain balance. And. I'll let baby girl do her own thing. Hell. It's a necessity because I need all my limbs. So she'll be somewhere else. Maybe far away maybe close. And she finds a way up. No matter what she finds a way up to wherever I am. And for her despite being 10% of my size, she is quadripedal And can use that and her agility to scale mountains. She teaches me so much. Look and take the bigger perspective on the scenario. It's all fun. She loves it so much when she's free to roam off leash. It's an opportunity to remind myself to go off trail and to enjoy what's in front of me and or the bigger picture. She wants to love everyone. And she sets healthy boundaries. Sometimes, like myself she heals people first and people who haven't shown their worth. This is another lesson. Anyway. I love her very very much. My guide my inspiration my teammate.

Let go of agenda it all works out. Those very loud voices are never never never the light. Sometimes there wounded parts of self but never light. Leave that energy. It is okay because you're being directed to the better thing. Those energies are lying to you.

I'm of the firm belief, and ministry that all beings are designed to - must - find their unique connection to source. Source meaning God. Or source code. Or consciousness. Whatever one prefers to call it their unique permutation of their connection to the all that is.

And. Each being will have their own way of getting there. But. Get there.

Through religion (in a form), through dance, through psychology, through systems... and through yourself. The systems are tools. The books, other people's stories, structure. All tools. Useful tools, many of which we placed in our paths to activate what's already inside of us. And that's the thing, it's all inside of us, just awaiting activation. Strategically? Spontaneously? Neither? Both?

I believe in boundaries, not rules. Rules and structures and science and religion are means of control and understanding that which isn't understandable. They're for regimenting and measuring... the infinite. Powerful tools and structures... that would be wise to be used with discernment.

In my personal... practice... I connect to the infinite in many languages. Hebrew, english, arabic, sanskrit, light language and languages of ET collectives. And. The heart. Because when words fail, and we can get quiet... the heart - that giant energy generator and receiver - speaks the loudest. Across all space-time dimensions.

That's where the most powerful mystics and wizards have an advantage and advancement - they have keenly tuned hearts. They can feel truth. Know truth. And radiate truth back.

The heart - the heart is the way. In my personal journey, I long knew myself to be heart led, and also heart broken and heart veiled or clogged. And. Big catalysts in my spiritual journey were the accupuncturist who noted some stagnation/clogging in my heart and referred me to a healer in the Sufi tradition. Sufism - mystical Islam - is the path of the heart. To cleans, purify (ascend), open and activate the heart. I've learned in other schools that in the human organism, the heart has the ability to read/receive data from more dimensions than any other organ. It is the center of the torus, etc. Some things I'm speaking to right now I "know" some buzzwords, and I "know" energetically, but I haven't studied so I don't quite have... true vocabulary. Tangent - my whole life I"ve "known" lots of things, very intuitive. And I didn't trust it. And became veiled. Misunderstood signals in my body or allowed mind information or conditioning or fear (that I thought was truth) to dictate my behavior. I still allow for the grief in my body and soul for those many many... untaken paths and experiences and now... I have more experience discerning the different body sensations - the "knowing" vs the fear vs the expansion. There's nuance and it's becoming clearer. And I'm willing to sit with more and take more risks.

Anyway - so back to the heart. The first ancestor I "knew" or... confirmed for sure... was making contact was/is my grandfather from this lifetime. He left human form when my mother was 8 years old so I never got to meet him but I heard many stories. For a time, as I was having many mystical experiences and was clearly being moved around by spirits (I just didn't know who), I began to encounter dogs, named, or with humans named Henry.

Henry. I'll never forget this one day, walking my dog at the farmers market in Mount Pleasant, Washington, DC. Two or three interactions with Henry/dogs. I began talking back to the voice in my head. "Is this really Henry Cowan... my grandfather? What are you trying to tell me" "Open your heart, be with your heart, listen to your heart, heal your heart" "If this is really Henry, bring me a human named Henry this afternoon" I kept being walked to other folx, no more Henry's that day - I think they tried hard though, as I'm now remembering other times they worked really hard to get me my signs - sidebar: there are LOTS of spirits in Washington, DC - anyway. It didn't matter. I knew. When I had a conversation with the voice, it felt so soft and holding, I was crying on that neighborhood street as I walked towards the woods. I felt held. I felt whole. I know Henry's energy has always been with me. I intiut he's the one I the walk in or original occupant - I'm really not sure - made the contract with to heal this family line. He's always been nudging and loving and supporting me, in this lifetime and probably others. He has periodically hung out in Pippa's body - a grandfatherly protection. He has confirmed though, that its him on more than one occasion. Back when, I guess I was ready to know that I was talking to folx... I wanted confirmation... I scream to the heavens "If this is really Henry, show me a unmistakable sign" - I had been on Columbia Road in Washington DC, near Safeway grocery store in Adam's Morgan. All of the sudden my body starts moving... I'm walking and being controlled by spirit. Until I stop. Directly in front of Henry's jewelry store.

Okay. You win. Thank you. I love you.

My dear Pippa is asleep on my bed right now. I feel my body expanding. My brain... doing things it does. Best I can to be present. And She's snoozing. Happy. She wants to play. She's glad to nap. In a BED!!! We are safe, we are whole, we are loved.

The heart. Softening and being in the heart. That is the way.

As I sit here - I desire to process how delightful it is to have this chair and table where I can write. A part of me goes to "It could have been in XYZ van XYZ months ago. And I can let that go. I also recognize the opportunity to install a table elsewhere in this van so I can do this in another location. Huzzah :)

Thank you thank you spirit!

----------------------

----------------

God. The universe. Light. Whatever you believe. You always has our backs. And the conflict and confusion is because we're human. Made by design in separation from our source so we can return to source and in our humanity we've been given shadow and perspective and difference so we use our human minds to attempt to understand and conceptualize and make meaning of the world.

Psychology philosophy this religion that religion. Meant for different times.

Each of us is on our unique journey with our unique gifts and unique paths and unique way to connect with and return to our source code. And. What works for me may work for you. And what works for me may not work for you same thing with infinite other beings and souls.

So Freud discovered psychoan alysis and Peter will be in somatic experiencing and Moses received the Torah. These are great tools. And they may work for you they may work for me. And they may not. And they are different people's observations and experience connecting with source. Maybe for a time maybe forever.

And that source despite some human understandings to the contrary, he's a wholly loving source who always has our back and always has our best interest and always has something supportive for us in store.

I sleep in a lot of parking lots. And source and the universe are constantly telling me to get the fuck out of the car and walk by the river. And. I tend to stay in the car because my human body and human mind want to be comfortable. My human body and human mind are afraid of a cop or someone interfering with me. When I'm separate from it my human body and my human brain know…what's the worst that can happen…The cop says something and I say okay I'll leave. More than likely and this has been the case cuz I've been somewhat illegally parking consistently…is that nothing happens. And I get whatever magical experience of staring at the stars and being near the water at night aligned with my true energy.

And the human laws and the human brains have said no. Danger.

Here's the thing. Maybe another city. And. Since the universe always has my back maybe it's a more dangerous place. And I know that I have a pretty powerful spirit team who will influence the cop or the moose or the human to just not come around that day. Give Nora her free pass. The free pass might occasionally be teaching her to interact with that cop and hold her own. And it might be hey there was never a problem to begin with and it was all in your head.

So. I'm learning. I'm allowing. I'm balancing. I'm doing my damndest to let go of those mine stories of those body fears and get out of the fucking car. Saying thank you to the human. Loving myself. Being physically active. The body doesn't want to. The old trauma stories are just that.

Well…When I shared myself with so-and-so he said mean things so I can't share myself with other people. No. That was then and this is now. And it may feel that way. But no.

I was going to buy a van from a lovely lovely couple. And it just didn't feel right. I wanted it to feel right and it might have been right, maybe we could have made it work, and I could still change my mind on it if I want to. But it really didn't feel right. I struggled so much to send the email saying thanks but no thanks. 4 days of anxiety. Their response was so fucking loving. Uncomfortably so. Breaking and expanding my heart because the people that I meet now are not the people that I interacted with for the first 30 some years of my life. And mind you the people that I meet now in some ways are like the people I interacted with. But not most of the people I interacted with because I was afraid of the kind people then too. In any event. These van people. I felt so bad that I felt like I was wasting their time because in our meetings it felt like pressure and no. They're just kind of healthy people who want to get things done and are on top of things. And they were so kind and loving supporting me on my journey and acknowledging that things aren't always the right fit. And ask for loving feedback. Which again took me another 5 days of anxiety. And again an immediate text message offering love and support and hard expanding and crying as I'm voice texting this. That was then and this is now. That was then and this is now that was then and this is now. This is what love is this is what love is this is what love feels like. Oh wow. Oh wow.oww.

And here's the thing I'm encountering some folks who are kind of similar to the folks you know that weren't so great. Or who are maybe in the middle. And I'm doing the same behaviors and I get to forgive myself but I making myself wrong when folks are unreliable. Or when we both are. In a lot of these situations it's actually on both of us. You can tell who the healthy people are. The van people and still in steamboat are healthy folks. Because it didn't matter how I interacted they were kind and loving. And supportive and encouraging and responsible. And other folks it wouldn't matter how I interacted. And then with others I imagine we build on each other. Son of a bitch. I really really want this van. And my guides are saying they know. And I don't know who's telling me that it's not going to happen. I am going to wait and allow. Cuz I don't know. I don't know. When I miss things or muck with the timing on things I don't know if it's reality's voice or ego's voice and fears voice and impatience voice so I don't know. It's hard to hold the negative one anymore. I'm walking through this river right now. It's nice. Would have been nice at dark and it's nice now.

My mission on this planet, for which I'm deeply grateful, is to be a Wandering Wizard. And that means many things.

For which I am grateful.

First and foremost tho. It means, I get to roam. And be. And talk to strangers. And talk at strangers.

About whatever.

Is arising.

And is relevant in the moment.

It also means I get to talk to the land. And plants. And animals. And sky.

In whatever language moves through.

I was recently reconected with several soul sisters. I knew they were soul sisters... because I just know...

But also... when we connected... I started speaking Hebrew. And arabic. And Spanish.

So... I "knew" - please see the Wisdom post about "knowing" - we hand "known" eachother in many lives before.

These women are my family. I love them. I loved them millions of years ago and again when we "met" now.

This Leads me to finally put on "paper" the beginnings of an important understanding.

We do not come in tabula rasa. We don't. WE don't. We don't.

Our souls carry the cords, contracts, connections and relationships and energies in connection to our soul family.

So. The conventional understanding of psychology, relationship, even human behavior, misses things.

There's conventional wisdom that... it takes time to get to know people - and that's true, but not always.

There's conventional wisdom to be foundaried with receipt of loving gestures - love bombing is narcissism - and that's true, but not always.

There's conventional wisdom about parentification, boundaries etc. And that's true.

And - in order to heal and be - we need a broader understanding of energy and relationships.

Before we incarnate we make contracts with other souls to be in relationships that teach us lessons. However we carry energy from past relationships as well.

So - to give a real life example - when two souls that previously held a grandparent-grandchild relationship date and/or become spouses in another incarnation... there will be remnant nurturer/caretaker - child energy.

I look forward to reading or channeling or receiving more wisdom about how to engage deeper with this understanding and healing. Perhaps a simple understanding and acknowledgment is all it takes.

If I had known... remembered... that my former spouse carried that energy, would it have empowered me to look at him differently? Would I (we?) have had compassion for the parent-child dynamic that played out and addressed it differently?

I don't know. And. Now that I am tapped into energy. When I meet someone new and can sense the nature of our history... I can enter into the relationship in both surrender and preparation.

Loving sister: H!!!! I love you, I trust you.

Abusive spouse: Nice to meet you, I wish you well, take good car.e

Abandoning mother: I feel the sadness. I forgive you. I forgive myself. I allow possibility of repair. And if not, I move on.

Loving mother: I embrace you, allow myself to be held, and launch.

Friend: Joy, connection, boundaries.

Everyone else: BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES. Discernment in the moment. Boundaries.

i did my first stand-up comedy open mic last night. A life long dream. Desire. The first of many?

I performed in front of strangers. Total strangers.

It was easier. Than performing. In front of folk I knew... or who thought they knew me.

All my life, and perhaps I'm only realizing this as typing now... all my life I wanted to perform. Hell, all my life I was performing... different performances. All of my life I wanted to BE AUTHENTIC. In front of people. All my life I've been performing.

So. Last night. Was liberating.

In a day where I pushed through the demons and other people's energy and my own shadow. In a day where I expanded. In a day where lessons galvanized and compassion amplified.

I got up on stage. In front of loving strangers. Supportive strangers. And vamped. And served. And connected. And inspired.

Myself. Them. The whole.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am Nura. Many things. And I feel MUCH energy in me, in this coffee shop, in the collective. As I type.

Many things to do... to be... and none. Influences of SO MUCH LIGHT. Holding SO MUCH LIGHT.

What's for me? I do well when I vamp. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. Thank you spirits. Thank you humans. Thank you sovreignty. Thank you sometimes planning. Thank you putting me in cities where I feel similar aesthetic and expanded and find like-souled and like minded people.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.

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Been a while since I've blogged. And that's okay. A journey. Lessons. Healing. Light. Living. Learning. Discerning.

I'll start with the latest big downloads.

I also wonder what I've dictated that I've never posted here... first time using my computer in... months. Last I opened the website was in May and now its July 8. Okay... so here goes.

Property ownership, capitalism, religion, political systems... non-profits... all of it.

Bullshig. Entrenched interests. Missing the point and root cause. Missing the change. And ineffective/ will be obsolete in New Earth. Will the systems fight? Or will they become obsolete? I've experienced channels to both effects. Hmm. I suppose it depends on which timeline I'm on. 5D, highest - folx will gravitate more and more to light. And light. Wins.

That's the timeline I choose to be on and choose to write about.

So lets examine some systemic problems - where society has it wrong.

Yesterday, all of my conversations had the thread of environmental conservation. First one was speaking to a woman how campsites and trailheads are now packed and require reservations. To keep crowd control. And rangers are regularly policing for "conservation." She drove 3 hours for the campsite and booked 6 months in advance.

What we have is a problem that our living systems (cities, suburbs, towns) are set up where nature is a rare commodity, limited access, and it's "preserved" - in our efforts to "conserve" and "protect" we've attempted to create an antiseptic environment. We haven't actually done that... but in creating this commodity and precious resource, the land has neither been able to evolve in the way it desires, and INTEGRATE with the people. And there's mor systems of control, fear, economic extraction. Some of it with good intention. Others totally misisng the boat.

My vision... my... download:

No land ownership.

Education for the people about healthy land use. (I have recently learned much about dog feces - it takes a LONG time to decompose, does NOT become fertilizer, carries kind of nasty parasites, and petrifies in the desert - I have NOT learned what is the healthy way of disposal... what is the nature of wild dog poop? This is something for me to investigage) And also acknowledge and allow that the land WANTS to integrate with humans. Support. Expand. Nurture... which means change.

I'll start again. My vision.

An earth... or... perhaps a USA where homes are mostly yurts, domes, adobe houses and similar. Tearing down cities. Opening natural park boarders, and expanding land use in currently desolate places like all throughout colorado, wyoming, kansas and others.

There is more than enough land to build out. Not up. Up is hurting us. The density of cities is HURTING us. In new earth... which is now... we need to be spread out from eachother. and to expand. Gaia herself has told me... she want to teach and hurture us. She can heal us and we incarnated as the advanced consciousness as the bridge between gaia and the cosmos. To ascend her. WE NEED TO ASCEND HER. And let her hold us too.

Down with property ownership. Up with expansion. Down with extractive architecture. Up with being closer to the ground. Sleeping outside. In the interim, more nature. Everywhere. INtegrating nature and water everywhere. Moving from big supburban homes to smaller. Connecting waterways (or letting it happen naturally, and it will... Gaia is ready to change that what teh humans aren't willing to)

In writing this, it's abundantly clear to me I'm better suited to podcast and vamp or talk or something. And... the stuff is coming out. There's a lot in there. Between stuff I read and stuff that comes to me first and then validated and nuanced in other people s channels... yeah.

Okay.

Certain animals will go extinct. We need to let them. INtegrate with nature. Not protect. Intersts have interst in separation. No. No

What does this mean for me personnaly? i do need my own nest. To learn. Grow. Heal. Heal. Ground. Nest. REMEEMBER. To wayshow and thrive in new earth. Where we return to the olden days, but different. Forage - except it's not foraging. Live off the land. Communities. Communal. Service. INterdependence.

Yum!

The other day, I left another town. As I do. Mixed on my personal guidance - stay? Nomad? Be patient and form relationships? Flit in and out on my own? I, sort of, allowed myself to do both - check out of my hotel with the possibility of returning. And, perhaps when I checked out, that was me making other plans? Surrendering... to something else. In that hotel I was working on getting comfortable. Building up to full night releases. I did a lot of healing work there. And much of what I worked on escapes me now. Perhaps that's the point.

I had texted someone I met. I'd be willing to stay at least one more night. I hedged "I'm inclined to stay one more night - are you still interested/availiable for dinner this evening" - she was very kind the day before - and I was in other people's energy. And she was kind. And hold me. We had much to teach eachother. She invited me for more things IF I were to stick around.

And I hedged. ONe night. If I'd stayed longer... who knows. I told myself a story that she's not right for me. Someting to protect the ego. And... scene.

Many people want to love me IF I am to stick around. And, perhaps, THAT I say, I could leave at any moment... they don't make the call, or the investment. IF they'd call... IF I had a reason to stay... I'd stay. I would. I really would. I'd stay. AND go. Stay. Build the relationship. And go... when again guided.

I am willing to be loved. I am willing to learn. I am willing to be held and share myself. I am willing to learn to do these things.

I am grateful that, even though I ran from Kim. We didn't run from eachother. When BOTH of our shadows revealed themselves, I only ran in body. And we became closer and closer... in soul. Becaue the same thing happened with... everyone. Brian. Joel. Trip. Suncatcher girl, Phoenix people, San Diego people... Taos people... folx want to get close and I leave? Folx want to get close and I misunderstand? Folx want to get close, their shadow comes... that HURTS my empathic body... so... peace.

It's reasonable protection. And. WE're not growing. :Sigh:

Cool. Analysis.

So I drove. To a historical site. Guided to make a turn... I didn't... I proceeded to the historical site.

It was closed.

Went to a trade shop. For a dreamcatcher - not for a dreamcatcher. Deep conversation with the purveyor. About talking to trees, land and spirits. About her family being nomadic. About me as a nomad right now. All of it. Beautiful.

I bought the dreamcatcher. And. Couldn't. Leave... Somethign else I'm here for.

"Spirit... what else am I here for?"

"A cape"

"A cape? I don't want a cape!" - on brand

"Just put on the cape!!!"

"Ok... ugh, I don't like it" - on brand... (not) surrendered

I asked to see a full length mirror

as I looked in the mirror, tears flowed. I was being held by my grandmothers.

It was either always supposed to happen this way, or at whatever point where I decided I wasn't staying, they put whatever thoughts in my head and set this in motion... I had meditated... grieved... on lost blankets connected to spirit... that morning.

I was being held by my grandmothers. I was being held... wrapped... held (damn... connections now... for so long yearning to be held...) by my ancestors... and connected to another tool in my medicine chest.

I shared what was happening for me with Nico, the purveyor. The stories of my grandmothers, meditations, spirits, etc. I held back some emotion. Because... where I'm at. And she was loving. Reverent. Kind.

Healing as I write this. Allowing the feelings? Much at the same time. Held. My grandmothers. And source. And guides. And my grandmothers. The WISE WOMEN. Here. Holding me. Now. Always. Oww. Yes. Oww.

Thank you family. I receive.

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I read up on Enneagram 8 tonight.

Enlightening. In a new way.

Thank you spirit. I'm ready.

I'm also ready to do Kambo. Thank you spirit.

Whereas I thought my strength and being a jack of all trades, researcher and/or not talking to folx was a feature of my human design, I see it is also a disintegration, protection feature... of my enneagram.

If stress continues, Eights will disintegrate to Five. When this happens, they withdraw from the world and brood over all the problems and threats they imagine. They fear losing power and feel powerless and incompetent. To deal with this, they hoard data and information, looking for answers to gird themselves with. They get lost in their projects and become emotionally detached and preoccupied. Often they will appear secretive, high-strung, and private. They don’t want anyone to know very much about them because that could mean the other person could have an advantage or power over them. Trust is hard-won at this stage, and they may be cynical and contemptuous towards others.

And it explains so much more about that abusive relationship.

I was in a doctor-patient relationship with the human incarnation of the twin flame of the original soul that occupied this body. And. That soul and I have been in abusive relationships in other lives. So. We had a lot in common. A lot of issues. Some the same. Some opposite. Amazing mirror. Pretty wounded people (Then? Then.) Really wounded relationship. And not great models to *help* each other. I tried to help me. I tried to help him. I have compassion for both of us. And I see now even more... wow... Healing that. Still healing that.

That above doesn't *quite* fit me. But the "hoard data and information looking for answers to gird themselves" really got me. But I'm RAX Consciousness 2 - meant to study all the things. It. Can. Be. Both. RAX Consciousness 2 also demands the information be shared. In perfected form.

So... the commitment is to SHARE. To SPEAK. To be a soft, cushy, marshmallow - and you know what, it DOES FEEL GOOD WHEN I DO... GREAT EVEN... is HERE.

HELLO WORLD. Anyone wanna interview me? I'd love to share (more of) my stories. And knowledge. But mostly the stories. The real lived experience. Because it's been... a lot and it's worthy. Hello world. Anyone wanna go through my journals. Hello world. I commit to write. To set boundaries. To protect my energy. And to SHARE. First and foremost with myself...

All of me.

Interestingly - the 8 integrates into the 2, the helper and there's theories that Mother Theresa was not a 2, but rather an integrated 8. There is power in my voice, activism and seeing and calling out. In softness and relating TO THE INDIVIDUAL. I preach that shit. I'm NOT actually one for power. Or self interest (sigh... memories of relationships with other 8's) I'm one for sovereignty so what pasted below... tracks.

Injustice - let's go. I'm here world. i'm ready. I'm up and out and here.

Rather than reverting to Five when they are stressed, Eights should go to Two. They need to delve into their softer side, reach out to people, and allow themselves to be compassionate and vulnerable. Using their power to nurture instead of fight, Eights come fully into their power and experience the heroism they’ve dreamed of. They put aside their need for control and power and relate to others as individuals and equals. They become kind, compassionate, and forgiving. They learn who they can trust.

It’s vital for Eights to remember that when their power is used for others it is revolutionary, but when their power is used for self-interest it becomes destructive. It can feel scary for Eights to initially integrate to Two because they worry about being taken advantage of or controlled. But heading in this direction allows them to become the heroic, courageous beings that they were meant to be.

In college I fell in love with Ani Difranco's "Pick Yer Nose" - and it's been an anthem of sorts, at times in my life. Full lyrics below the post.

"Cause you know I'm only five foot two and I'm giggly, wiggly

Tell me again, what did I do, why are you scared of me?

I fight with love, and I laugh with rage

Got to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to... see some change.

How come I can pick my ears But not my nose

Who made up that rule anyway

How can you say that's the way it is That's just the way it goes

Why don't you decide for yourself

What you can do And what you can say

How come I can pick my friends But not my enemies

What is it about me that offends What is it about me

'Cause you know I'm only five foot two

And I'm giggly wiggly

Tell me again, what did I do

Why are you scared of me

I fight with love

And I laugh with rage

You've gotta live light enough

To see the humor

And long enough to see some change

I think shy is boring

I think depressed is too

I think pretty is nice

But I'd rather see something new

All these plastic people

Got their plastic surgery

But we got a big big beautiful

We got it for free

Who you gonna be

If you can't be yourself

You can't get it from t.v.

You can't force it on

Anybody else

You know they come to clear cut

They come to strip mine

They come for some of my big butt

My big brain

Or just a little time

They want to take me out to dinner

Think I'm a bitch if I don't go

Seems like the people who actually like me

Won't allow me to say no

Your idea of a conversation

Is the third degree

But I don't really know you

And I don't really want to talk about me

'Cause I'm not going to pretend

That I don't pick my nose

That's just the way it is, my friends

That's just the way it goes

This is who I am

What I do

And what I say

If you like it, let it be

If you don't, please do the same

I fight with love

I laugh with rage

You gotta live light enough to see the humor

And long enough to see some change

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Where systems create fear - they are broken systems.

A deep relationship with Jesus is a thing of beauty. Versus a relationship with rules and dogma. Creates separation.

The concept of heaven and hell… fear. control. Separation. Man made.. misunderstanding of the Bible.

Been there.

Oh the demons that used to take over my body. Scream things at me... that I believed. Because I had been taught to. Because my teachers had been taught to. And I experienced abuse. That furthered the cycle. Of fear. Doubt. Shame. (None of it divine or true) And I suffered for it. And hurt self and others as a function of this entrapment. The darkness had me.

Until it didn't.

It doesn't.

It won't ever again.

The darkness likes us afraid. Power. Money. Control.

Religion isn't all light tho. Fear keeps religion in business.

And religion sadly, is, a business.

I'm not talking about community, culture, service and grace. I'm not talking history or lineage.

I'm talking rules. Hierarchy. Power structure. and dogma.

Lineage, history, tribes - all the things disconnected from capitalism and that pre-date modern worship structures... yaas please!

There's no monopoly on the divine. No one way to worship or to know God. And if the bible resonates as your way... power to you. Jesus as your way to salvation... awesome. That doesn't mean that's for EVERYONE.

I'm not sure where I land on Jesus as path to salvation - *Christ* is, for sure. I believe and have experience with the consciousness he carried - the Christ consciousness has arrived back on earth and those among us carrying that light are helping escort in what has been referred to as the Messianic age. Maybe folx who don't accept the light/consciousness/teachings can't be saved. And maybe that's part of the plan. I'm coming to believe that this rising of consciousness brings together unity. And perhaps those not on board... exit... in some way, shape or form.

We'll find out.

I actually met, briefly... wish I'd paid attention... the human who is the (or among the) current vehicle for Jesus' direct consciousness, in San Diego. I also met the current incarnate of Saint Nicholas - who became Santa Claus around the same time. Amazing souls, incognito, doing God's work from the inside. If you ask, I'll tell more stories.

Divine beings - us included - are very real. And Religion isnt necessary for relationships with divine beings or essence. And there's value in community. History and culture.

I believe our religious texts are misunderstood. Or they existed for a time. And. We're changed and censored. Because the truth would compromise the power structure.

There is value. And we live in 2022. Upgrades happening. And even absent that. 2000 years later are we *sure* we have the reading right? Nope. Wouldn't be thousands of schools if there was consensus.

Much like our government has proof of Aliens and ETs, legitimacy of shape shifting, healing, manifesting, psychic gifts etc. And disclosure would (will) upset the current power structure and topple industries that benefit from the slavery of capitalism and the medical system.

The slavery that has us believe we can't heal ourselves. Self given. Live in harmony.

It's convenient.

I met a gentleman who was paroled after 20 years. He had helped an elderly/infirm woman cross the street when no one else was paying attention.

He told me he found God, became a regular at the library, educated himself into an upstanding human.

His case worker was angry. He "cheated the system" - I was exasperated. Apparently the "system" believes in punishment and supressing souls.

It's convenient. Keeps the prisons full. People angry and afraid separate. And corporations wealthy.

That's not God's way.

That's not love.

Even fear tho. Also not God.

I've been in more scary situations than I'll ever be ar to.coumt. and the thing is, the thing I was afraid of never manifested. Ever. It was in my imagination, or implanted by a culture of worry and other.

Alhamdulillah for survival. Hallelulilah. Praise the Lord. All of it.

Thr thing is also. I have survived legit DANGEROUS situations, where, by the grace of GOD, angels, ancestors, etc… I was pulled out

Getting violently sick at a rest stop INSTEAD of driving through 120mph winds. Near miss traffic accidents. Ended relationships or canceled plans. "It didn't work out BECAUSE you're divinely protected"

I've had faith (ironically) when in danger, and fear (anxiety) in real life.

Oh conditioning.

God. Divinity. Is. Unity.

There's details and nuance. Things to learn and go deeper. But that's the base.

More to come…

--------------

A Sufi teaching story that I love:

Once upon a time there was a man who strayed, from his own country, into the world known as the Land of the Fools. He soon saw a number of people flying in terror from a field where they had been trying to reap wheat. “There is a monster in that field,” they told him. He looked, and saw that it was a watermelon. He offered to kill the ‘monster’ for them. When he had cut the melon from its stalk, he took a slice and began to eat it. The people became even more terrified of him than they had of the watermelon. They drove him away with pitchforks, crying: “He will kill us next, unless we get rid of him.”

It so happened that at another time another man also strayed in to the Land of the Fools, and the very same thing started to happen to him. But, instead of offering to help them with the ‘monster,’ he agreed with them that it must be dangerous, and by tiptoeing away from it with them, gained their confidence. He spent a long time with them in their houses until he could teach them, little by little, the basic facts which would enable them not only to lose their fear of watermelons, but even to cultivate them themselves.

This is one of the best exemplars on how to create change. Healing. Anything.

We must change hearts and minds. And before that, we must acknowledge, love, dance with... where we're at. Validate. Understand. Be with. The perspective of the wounded. The perspective of... the other. That it's all real and true.

The trauma that lives (and is exiting) my body... is real and exists in me. The consequences of racism ,capitalism, religion. The understandings of racisism, capitalism, religion... are real.

Change happens from understanding and from the inside. And spirituality, politics, change, anything without acknowledging these systemic and/or "clogs in the system" just don't work.

I've tried. I've tried spiritual bypassing. I've had trauma informed spiritual teachers call BS on a lot of love and light spirituality. I wanted - still want to believe. And. The clogs remain.

We have to address the trauma. And the real life that exists really.

Damn.

I was speaking to someone the other day who works for a building materials company - he believes in green building, is a LEED AP and works for a company that extracts materials from the earth. To build giant buildings. For Amazon.

His dissonance was pervasive.

In talking I suggested that he could make change from the inside. "Like a mole?" - whereupon I made a joke about Anderson Cooper. Well, not exactly... I wholeheartedly believe (and download) that change happens when we, ourselves, change, and then we model and become role models for others.

A simple conversation... something validating anothers' perspective... just being a good person... makes a difference.

The second stranger validated the "fools" perspective... earned their trust... and was able to... gradually... reveal a new perspective to them. He came to their level. With love and support.

That is the way.

A modern adaptation:

A stranger walked into a foreign land and saw many people running and screaming in terror away from an open field. As the people ran past, the stranger continued on approaching the source of this terror. The people were shouting, “There’s a monster in the field! Don’t go any further!” But the stranger continued on and ultimately realized that what people were running from was nothing more than a single watermelon. Perplexed and desiring to ease the fear of these people, the stranger picked up the watermelon, broke it apart, took a chunk and ate it. “Look, I have defeated the monster!” said the stranger. Instead of relief, this caused further fear. The people turned on the stranger as an even more terrifying monster and chased him out of town shouting, “He will kill us next!”

Another stranger entered the same town, witnessed the same terror, and made the same realization that the townspeople were running from what appeared to be a harmless watermelon. However, instead of trying to convince them that it was “just a watermelon” or offering to vanquish the monster for them, the stranger listened to them, agreed that it must be dangerous, and went along with them, all the while maintaining his own internal sense of safety in the face of the watermelon. He entered into their homes, sat with them, ate meals with them, and earned their trust. Eventually, through listening and simply spending time together, the stranger more deeply understood the fear of the townspeople and, simultaneously, they began to learn from the stranger not only that these watermelons were not dangerous, but that they could be eaten and cultivated as delicious food.

------------------------

Moar downloads:

Heal. Pray. Connect to body and source.

All is provided when aligned. Spirit and consciousness have the greater perspective to get all the puzzle pieces to fit perfectly, safely. Without violence. When we surrender.

Get outside. Breathe oxygen. Also be inside if that's more suitable for you and your human.

Human Design is a valuable tool ofr inquiry and validation as is astrology if you're not in tune with your body.

Follow the body tho.

Byron Katie's inquiry is magic.

Anything fear is a lie and we've been fed fear to keep us docile and controlled. And our ancestors have been fed the same fear and our leaders. The doctors that hurt me were doing their job. It's how they were trained. It's what they observe and know. They didn't. Couldn't? Think outside. And when presented with new info... it seemed more outlandish. Hell, I've been there. HOw many times did I jump on holistic... and jump back.

Coffee enemas? Green eating... prayer?

Please just give me the pill.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I was wrong. They were wrong. And I forgive them. And I forgive myself.

PRAYER WORKS. INTENTION WORKS. HEALTHY LIVING WORKS. Damn I think of all the downloads I haven't written down. And all the downloads that came through YEARS ago when I was in mental health facilities, under pressure being taught and held wrong... and what was coming through me was THE TRUTH. Sending THE TRUTH to doctors and partners who were nto open to listen and I wasn't exactly doing it in an effective forum of tantrum and emails.

I forgive myself.

I was (without their understanding) being held hostage. And I was desperately trying to be seen and escape. I was begging my captors to see the light and release me. I was sharing the light with them. And I trust that, in time, the messages I brought through, will or did click. Maybe they read my emails again. Maybe I will. There's much wisdom.

What's the wisdom now? The midnight downloads unwritten. It's all in there. And it'll come out be it in conversation or here. In right timing.

I forgive. I pray. I ask. I allow.

I envision. I allow. I receive. I allow a full detox. I ask God/Source/Spirit of moldovite, ayahuasca, peyote, ancestors, angels, mushrooms to purge the limiting beliefs. I ask cacao spirit to open my heart. I ask Gaia and the nature spirits to keep me grounded.

So I may serve.

Guided to Jewish prayer. Any prayer. Because my body receives and is attuned to many light codes.

When we incarnate, we choose, we design... religions, paths, healing modalities that'll work for us.

And I chose. All of them. ANd none of them.

That I'm a seeker. A taster. A blender.

Get a flavor of many. To taste. To distern. To amalgalmate and realize the underlying sameness of them all. And the differences. And to embody the mashup that works for me. ANd also direct folx to what may work for them.

So I pray in many langages. And recognize it all comes back to the divine inside AND outside.

Prayer works. Frequency works. Asking for help works.

And for some folx there is one religion. For some folx religion works... for now. Those frequencies are optimal.

My body first opened with the frequencies of Islamic prayer codes. My body responds to lots of light codes. Others will and do too. And... get to start somewhere.

Not everyone needs spirit - and I'm here to connect folx to spirit.

Everyone needs connection to source code. They're not the same. They're also not different. I'll get more downloads and itegrate in time.

Talk to me, I'm more clear in conersation/in the moment. Downloads come fast and furious - they'll integrate in the perfect iming.

I'm confused on chosenness right now. We're all beautiful souls here to learn. Maybe some ARE here to be villians? Can we all return?

I forgive myself for going back to the bed... again. I forgive myself for the mind saying resting the body was more important than being ioutside with moon spirits. I forgive myself for not writing down... the messages.

I lov eyou

-------------------

I believe in have had intimate experience with God - Source - Creator - Allah - The Light - The Oneness

I believe in have had intimate experience with Jesus, Mother Mary, saints, angels, dragons, unicorns, fairies, sasquatch, pleadians, dolphins, birds, trees... hadarians, arcturians, lyrans, lemurians (et al) and ancestors, pets and relatives who have crossed over.

And I know my life is divinely guided and also divinely protected.

I'm special - and I'm also... not that special... Unique and not so... insofar as the opportunity is available to all of us.

And because of all of the above... I believe in soul sovreignty. Peace. Local governance. Anti-capitalism. Understanding. Empathy. Faith.

As I was in conversation today, with a family... that I've been living on the road... came up... as it does. And the conversation went like many (not all) have before:

"Just you and your dog?"

"Yes... well... and God, angels and ancestors"

"Wow, that's brave... I hope you have a weapon"

I deflected and showed my *very* tiny knife that is attached to my keychain and provides great support to open things and cut food occasionaly. And decidedly not a weapon. And I digress

I had previously mentioned that Pippa and I have been together in many (that might be false... I know we share soul pieces and were together in at least one) lives and that we're infinite souls, incarnitating in many bodies over time. There was immediate defense and mild poking fun at the hindu religion/culture. Sure... okay. I brought through theories and wisdom... and we moved on.

With my use of the G - word, the conversation pivoted to Jesus and the bible. I'm a believer and follower of (the light) and Jesus said - she quoted scripture.

It's interesting to remember - in this, and other similar conversations, folx get pretty excited or reverant towards me when they connect (I don't out myself) that I'm a Jew. "Wow - you're chosen!" This part got to me today, especially when I encountered a gentleman doing circuits around the lake, reading a hebrew prayerbook. Hmm... this feels mercury-retrogradian.

I spoke about I believe and minister that there are infinite ways to God/source - and folks are urged to find... theirs. She disagreed and I wasn't trying to convince her, and she urged me to read the new testament - it'll change my mind. "I have the embodied and mystical experiences... that's how I determine what practices pass the... smell... heart test for *me*"

Am I being called to connect with my Jewish heritage? Chosen-ness? Lineage? Jewish prayer? Yes. All of it.

And, in the context of my spiritual understanding. When I checked in with my higher self... *I'm* called to connect to that AND all the other paths and tools (prayers, practices) that connect me to the divine. I said a Shechyanu and Alhamdulillah, probably some sanskrit and continued.

There's a lot I'm with as I write this up. When I was walking, it was the chosenness, religion piece. Now, its the fear. I don't carry a weapon for lots of reasons, and among them, is my faith in being divinely protected. And in humanity. Why is it that many of the more 'religious' folx are also the most fearful? Because they've been taught wrong.

This woman agreed how Jesus wouldn't like what's going on today. And she brought up that many people think Christians are judgmental and she encouraged me to read Saul... She said "I believe everything happens for a reason, and we were brought together so I could teach you" - I think there are things I needed in her vibe - to go back to source, back to source back to source. AND to read the christian scriptures and re-familiarize myself with the principles. And I believe she needed my light, and to receive planted seeds that enter her field where her dissonance and demeaner revealed cracks.

Fear and judgment aren't of the light. Separation... even chosenness. I'm working through this because I believe in uniqueness and we're all here on different missions and to teach. Because unity isn't homogeneity. It's loving and valuing and celebrating and allowing all aspects of creation.

And allowing that each culture, community, tribe can self govern and make... norms... appropriate for them. So, this is weaving a bunch of concepts on my mind into one post. Perhaps I'll separate them later into their own.

I don't know better than you for your life. If you invite my perspective on your life, I may have a perspective, and I have no business, or compartve advantage. Similar to governing - city governments/residents making policy for rural and vice versa. Until you're entrenched, you can't understand. Now, change can happen from the inside... and it requires trust building and seeing if there's actually a problem.

-----------------------

The problem with most of our systems - Capitalism. Capitalism. Capitalism.

Education is fucked - capitalism. hierarchy. structure

Politics is fucked - capitalism. heirarchy. structure

Building is fucked - capitalism.

Extracting from mother earth - capitalism.

Religion - hierarchy, structure, power

Because. We've lost the love. Understanding. Compassion. Connection. Service. Sovreignty.

Light.

And we can come back to it.

Hierarchy and power dynamics... the problem. At the source. Everything else is a symptom. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A SYMPTOM, and we're trying to fix it with band aids. And... there are entrenched interests who either don't see, OR, benefit from the system as it is. Which, as I'm writing... yeah... it's not as much about changing hearts and minds, but of waking folx up to the light. And. FIGHTING. LOVING. ELIMINATING. The Darkness. That likes the status quo. That holds power. That benefits, supports, encourages and fosters this culture of slavery and separation. And money.

Money is a TOOL. It's energy. It shouldn't (eventually it won't) be necessary. Because money creates separation. WE have everythign we need. Everywhere are people with skills. We can barter, support and trade. That's the divine image/imperative that we were created in

The answer is unity. Organize fish

By divine law, all is provided. This planet, the brains and ability ro receive wisdom ongoing and past. All exists right here, right now. hen deployed correctly, surrender. let go. release. allow. all puzzle pieces fit perfectly when we slow down, step back it's perfect. it's just not what we're used to. We have to step back to see the solution. willingness to exit the box, the matrix and allow the anser to show up.

Let's eliminate the education system. It's entrenched and it's not solving the actual problems of our current age. By the time a book gets published it's obsolete... well... for some. I'm a different breed.

deemphasize needing college. deempahsize school. learn by experiene. by doing. everyone is a unique expression of consciousnes. And our guides are always working for us to get us the information we need. Whether by the internet, conversation anything.

Let's get back to inherited wisdom. Trees disseminate wisdom through the root system. ONce upon a time we relied on our elders - and we still can... still do... the elders and ancestors are always with us. the wisdom is there, even if not in body.

It's a problem that a 100k private education may produce a social worker earning 28k/year.

We devalue social service. Education is a commodity. And those are only part of the problem. Caste system. Haves and have nots.

Tribalism. Socialism. Bartering. Trading. Supporting eachother. Plugging into the divine plan. Unplugging from matrix/ego plan.

The change starts with individuals bucking the system. Individual change... on a collective basis creates collective change.

That one teacher saying to an administrator "No, I won't change my lesson plans to match the 'curriculum' - I'm going to teach what works." And s/he does a service. And others follow suit.

That person saying to cosmetics purveyor that's filled with chemicals "Yeah, thank you, and I don't put chemicals into my body" - gets the purveyor to start thinking. Researching. Aware that there's something else. Creates dissonance. And plants seeds.

The neighbor who composts and his neighbors see. The kid that *doesn't* go to college and has success. The billionaire that funds charities or giving directly. That SPREADS the wealth.

I met a pharmaceutical sales rep who connects physicians with non-stimulant ADHD medication. He doesn't actually believe his product is "the solution." He knows the pharmaceutical and medical system are broken. AND it's a job. AND he knows he's actually doing a service. He's a bridge and an educator in a broken system. He has an opportunity to incrementally change a culture from the inside.

By teaching physicians that there are other options than stimulant medication it starts the cascade of GETTING PEOPLE OFF STIMULANTS, while still satisfying the (wrong) understanding of "better living by chemistry," AND it starts the wheels turning of other options, perhaps opening up to botanicals, lifestyle change, ADHD not actually being a problem. It opens minds and hearts to out-of-the-way-it's-always-been-done

Solutions.

I did couple puzzles yesterday. One was "fit these 4 pieces in this rectangle" the thing was, you had to think - unconventionally to place the pieces in ways the corners of the pieced didn't match the corners of the box. We have to look at things another way. Be open to miracles. Allowing that an option C will show up (when we had previously only been present to option A and B) or take a broader view.

Be the change. Be the change. Be the change!

LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.

The divine creator and consciousness itself HAVE A MASTER PLAN for our existence. AND, part of that plan was free will on this planet. So the puzzle pieces are always moving around and shifting. Nura - puzzle piece - was the best fit for the opportunity of the green van, and she, in her freewill chose not to slot herself in, so Jane Doe will fit in, and the puzzle will take a different shape, and also be perfect. The universe is always moving us around... puzzle... or... even chess pieces. Sometimes we're the villian that someone needs to learn from, sometiems we're the hero. Because it's all lessons.

boundaries, not rules. Rules are fixed. Boundaries meld to situations.

"No pets allowed" - she's not my pet, she's my daughter, my companion, my service animal. Her temperment, behavior, personality differs from most "pets" and also, each pet is different.

If she messes up your property, behaves in an unsafe way... sure, remove us... and a blanket rule closes to the delight one may experience with her. And to the unique experience across all beings.

Boundaries. discernment.

Connect to divine self. ground

-----------

Medicines. Plants. Religions.

Experiences. Guidance. Conversations.

Are all tools. To facilitate. Our. Unique walking. In each lifetime.

Each human. Animal. Plant. Being.

Unique expression.

Of the all that is.

So. The work.

The way.

The allowance.

Is presence.

A teacher or lineage can guide.

A guide can guide.

And. They're just that.

Guides.

To your... to my... experience.

From their perspective. And their experience. What's been taught, or worked. For them.

The way... is the walking. Interacting with the alchemy of it all.

To receive support.

And may the support be support.

And support does not replace. The ONE. Inside.

I sat in ceremony with plant medicine the other day.

The guide shared his music, wisdom.

Some of it resonated.

And alchemized the cellular structures in my being.

Much of it didn't tho.

Not my path. Not for me.

It resonated for others.

And that was beautiful.

Not wrong for me tho.

Just different.

The *medicine* moved me.

And not in the way I *expected* or resonated with how the guide described.

And.

It did what it needed to.

I got the healing I needed. I resisted the healing I needed.

Because. I had expectations.

And. It was exactly as was needed.

Because I also gained more of this wisdom. And trial and error. And by fire.

All of it.

The answer is in the allowing. The letting go. The being. With. What. Is.

"Take what you like and leave the rest" some say.

Go with the flow, and let the rest go. Follow the energy. The joy. The sovreignty of self.

Towards liberation.

What's the story that wants to be told? What's the story I'm telling. Channeling. Moving through?

A friend recently remarked: "You're life is just all magic, all the time, yeah?" - yes. Yes it is. And the funny thing about this friend, Mitra... our meeting was one of those many magical encounters... or, more accurately, divine.

It was another morning in Ocean Beach, San Diego, I was polishing my nails, each a different color. I got to one of them and asked myself:

What color for this one?

Green

But I don't have green nail polish

Correct - go to CVS for green nail polish

Okay...

And I got up to go... and my body... my angels, ancestors, dragons, ET guides, unicorns, fairies and other light beings had other plans. Body frozen, or assigned to another task.

That morning I had also misplaced one of my sandals and something in me wanted to buy birkenstocks or something of the ilk. In any event... things were done. Meditations, conversations, meanderings.

Until it was suddenly (actually) time to go to CVS.

I get to CVS and am browsing around. I see a lovely expressie shade... and it doesn't feel quite right to buy it. As I'm there a beautiful soul notices Pippa (or perhaps vice versa) and we begin chatting.

This lovely soul... is wearing green birkenstock-type sandals, with matching green nail polish.

Okay universe.

We begin to chat. Magic. Power. Knowing.

Omigosh - your dog is amazing and such a love... this has totally made my day. What's her name?

This is Pippa and I'm Nura.

Oh wow. Wait... Nura? Are you persian?

I stepped into the name when I was beginning Sufi studies.

Oh wow - I've long been interested in Sufism. My name is Mitra - Mithra was a persian sun god.

And Nura means light.

We proceeded to talk, connect... deeply... for 5 minutes, about light. Divinity. Mental health. Spiritual health and spiritual illness. And various. As she shared her story. And I shared mine. We healed. We connected. We loved. We became friends.

There's more to this story. And I have thousands of stories like this. And I have deep gratitude and reverence.

For the magic. The divinity. Of lightwork.

in the right place at the right time. Often not knowing why. Allowing magic. When fully discerning.

And surrendered.

So now I'm sitting in this coffee shop in an adorable town in Colorado. Guided yesterday to connect with an old friend... whereupon we had deep, meaningful and soul expanding conversation and downloads. Love. Magic. Holding. Peace.

And boundaries.

She said "no, I can't have you stay another night" - and it was perfect - because I needed to continue my journey. Into the unknown. And sharing. It. All.

I'm a lightworker - or, as one of my soulmates shared... a light blower. And I'm learning to discern what energy *is* mine, and how to send away with love, all that isn't.

So that, I may, receive... my birthright.

I'm a lightblower - sharing my story, experience, downloads, observations and wisdom... and most importantly, my love... the love channeled through me... wherever it's needed most.

At times, I've doubted, been in fear, resistance or pain. Because... well... I came by it honestly with the woundings and veils and conditioning from the environments I was in.

I grew up without much spirituality - I joke that my lineage was the "church of the therapists couch" - it's my past. And. I've learned... those systems. The primacy of the mind. Or even this lifetime. Fails to tell the whole story.

And. I forgive. And. I allow.

Magic. Mystery. Mercy. Faith.

Faith.

Faith.

Patience. Trust. Allowing.

Sovreignty.

Sovreignty in the 3d. 4d. 5d. All of it.

Source and higher self are guiding me. Towards the straightest path. Towards the highest and best.

And. I. Have. Choice.

And. I am. Wise. To... surrender to... the easiest, softest, straightest... most unknown... path.

Okay... what's next?

------------

I choose the path of surrender. Of trust. Of service. Of loving myself.

Of being the wandering wizard.

Of surrender.

Of knowing things without having to be taught.

Of learning things without having to study.

Of the messages. Always. Getting to me.

And. Being open to receive.

Thank you God. Source. Spirit.

Allah. Life force. Divine Creator.

The One.

The One who has created many.

Many origin points. Groups. Collectives. Beings

And.

The One who I serve. The One who I seek. The One who I incarnated to find.

The ONE inside.

What you seek is seeking you.

It's all One.

We are all ONE.

Pieces of the inifinite. The universe experiencing itself.

What do I *really* desire?

To wander in a comfortable nest... a 4x4 sprinter van. Exprloring, connecting, healing, creating, transcending, loving.

To respite in my *home* in New Mexico. To rest. To learn. And... in right timing... to share.

To steward the energy of money, investing in properties, businesses, communities, economies, for the highest good of all.

To support loving souls I've met on my journey... as a behind the scenes (even tho' I'm writing about it here) benefactor of magic.

To surrender. To allow the love, energy, magic and ease that is my birthright...

To be.

I desire to be: Happy. Well. Safe. Peaceful. And. At ease.

I already am those things.

And I allow. Even more.

Without attachment. To anything.

Love. Ease. Peace.

Surrender. The balance - desires. And... surrender.

So. They. May...

Arrive.

And. The blessings. Arrive.

Away from the tools? Tiktok? Healings?

What energy is mine? Fear isn't. Mine or other. Scarcity, none of that. I send it *all* back to spirit with love. All of it.

And I come to me. Source. INfinite wisdom and love.

-------------

How does one truly capture the magic and mystery of waking up. Of being awake. So many magical storiess of magic and wisdom live in this human. And the resistance to cataloguing - when cataloguing feels like a distraction from experiencing. And. IN my infinite intelligence - the bain of my and my guides - I also know that cataloguing helps to integrate, ground and process. And share.

I like sharing the stories to people on my path.

And. Now. I. Allow. An...opportunity. To reach a broader audience.

So. I’ll write on my experience with the divine and wonderful women who I refer to as the

4 matriarchs.

I met Carol Ann, Terri, Catherine and Maura at the Airport Vortex in Sedona one morning. I don’t recall what made me go there that particular day, really mostly I told myself I was “supposed to” go the previous evening. And. In the morning, I guess it felt more… differently… aligned…

Actually, no, I do remember… I was guided somewhere else… and I resisted… “I” wanted to go to bell rock, and I was directed another direction. And I turned around. I doubted the guidance.

So instead. I was guided to be healed. And meet healers.

I’m inclined to pause this, wondering if this is the same thing, the gemini in me… the twins… back and forth… what’s the highest and straightest path? This is? Ok.

I am healed.

I went to airport vortex, to get healing, to be the wandering wizard I am. And. Like always and all ways. I did both.

I don’t recall how the conversation started - Pippa probably went up to them, photos were taken, conversations were had. I had recently had a magical experience connecting to my divine feminine and my grandmothers' lineages. My maternal grandmother, temporarily incarnate in another wonderful saint of a human’s body, called on me to “go east… go to Sedona” - and I did. “You have work to do, and not just on yourself” she said. That same day I learned she had told my aunt to go north via a channel several months prior. So. She speaks simply. When BT says something, I listen now.

Back to the story - so… whatever happened the first day at the Airport Vortex. There was a loving connection. Pippa aided in healing. I told stories of being with BT at Slab City and following source and various. And. I was lovingly received.

When I requested Carol Ann, who took Pippa’s photo, text me a copy, I secretly hoped I could stay in contact with these beautiful women. There was something there. And. I was shy to request more. Still, I was energetically held as I shared my stories. Received. Loved.

That day after the matriarchs (wasn't yet their name) left the area, I was called, energetically to an aunt-niece combo, Pippa and I encountered them 3 times. They asked where the vortex was, and about spiritual things. And. Eventually we got into a conversation where I shared healing and wisdom. It was me doing what I do. Sharing compassion and holding and wisdom. And they remarked that I was part of a series of miracles on their journey.

And, I left what felt prematurely, projecting in a manner - getting back to extend my hotel. And I stayed at the hotel for a bit. Meditated in a way that didn’t feel comfortable, until I pushed through shadow, and departed again. I was guided to an art market in another area of town… and I encountered one of the matriarchs. And many other synchronicities and soul family connections, and yes… turns out all 4 of them were there and I didn’t see.

The old, wounded self was present - I felt a little shame, rejected myself, like “that” woman didn’t like me, I was intrusive for saying “hi” - oh how wrong I was.

The next day I made it to Bell Rock… a bit of a late start, or exactly on time in my car. As I got to the trail head… who do I encounter? The 4 matriarchs. What a gift. What beauty. What magical conversation downloading our days and connecting. I took a phone call, we went our separate ways. Again sad. And grateful. Again, longing.

They told me about a restaurant - the 6th time hearing that restaurant and I was going to go the night before but didn’t - they had been there the night before. Fine, okay. I’ll go tonight…

I didn’t go that night. I had other magical experiences. A massage, a chiropractor, a karmic connection

The next day, I went back to bell rock, and something was a push=pull… stay, go, stay, go… I pushed myself at a certain point… and for whatever reason, THAT was the time to go to ChocolaTree

Get food, don’t get food, get food… don’t get food. Just wait…

I got food. And I took in the vibe. And I waited.

And I begin to eat. Delicious, but not *really* why I'm there.

I turn to the left - and who do I see... Catherine. Of my matriarchs “omigod!!!” love and laughter “I thought you were leaving today” - “we are!”

I don’t recall the conversation, and we had had enough conversation about spirituality and synchronicity to know something was brewing. I was acting shy and I really wanted to connect, not knowing how, tears starting as I type thing. Longing to be loved, (falsely) thinking - "how could they like me" - not internalizing the evidence to the contrary from the past 4 days.

As we shared the communal table, me a few seats away from the four of them at some point Carol Ann was guided to ask “Nura, may the 4 of us send you some reiki?”

Overwhelmed and elated inside… “Yes… please” as I closed my eyes I felt the energy envelop me. And I feel it profoundly right now. Oh… It comes back ot me… while they were sitting there, I was journaling… sad and overwhelmed. “Why were we brought together… what do I have to teach them… stillness… what do they have to teach me… connection” - the night before I the chiropractor revealed my body longs for relationship… and… I’ve had resistance. To humans. And… I do… it does… crave… and is ready to open to… relationship…

Back to the story… So… I am receiving loving connection from these 4 beautiful women. My eyes are closed as the energy fills my body. And I cry and wail. Someone comes to my head and removes my hat, someone else holds me from the side, Pippa wails and then calms down as I feel safer. I open my eyes briefly to see who’s holding me. to my right was the one woman I thought didn’t like me (wrong… of course… but that was my projection on her of the 4) to my left was Catherine, Carol Ann also to my right or perhaps behind me. And Maura was going back and forth between her seat and my side.

It was scary. It was magic… wailing… letting it out. So sad and mixed feelings at not being held, safely or at all, making it scary to take it all in. And I was. I was. And it was cleansing. And it’s cleansing now.

It felt like BT. and Andi and Karen. It felt like the females in my lineage that I’ve had a… bit of an okay time being held by, even if they aren’t holdy people

Seeing the 4 ladies, they felt like Andi - it’s a thing ANdi and Karen would do.

But anyway - I was held by these beautiful women. As I wailed in this garden. “Better out than in - Shrek got it right” said one of the beautiful women.

As I came out, in vulnerability hangover I shared a story about Reb Nadya and only later remembered that 5 years ago she encouraged me to let the 9 mothers at the retreat hold me. I shared that, prior to that experience I had not had safe holding from the feminine, or masculine for that matter… never safe holding and what deep reverence and… various that provided.

They said “until now” or perhaps “yet” which means “your eligible too” as a new part of my journey.

Damn a lot to integrate.

Well, they held me, we shared stories - which led to even more synchronicity, and Carol Anne then changed her posture "um... something is coming through me... I'd never do this to a stranger..." "we're not strangers anymore" I interrupted... whereupon she kissed me on the forehead.It was BT. BT, Karen, Sue and Andi. All of them. The strong Friedman women. And as I edit this, they're here with me on this windy campsite.

Anyway… when I was sharing my stories and receiving Terri, Catherine, Maura and Carol Anne, I told them how my grandmothers wisdom and lineages were coming online. And I didn’t want to consider them my mothers or assume they are grandmothers - and… I choose to call you the 4 matriarchs.

They loved that. And so it was.

I was later reminded of the 4 matriarchs in the Amidah… and how earlier in my travels in San Diego when a Christian couple at San Elijo beach remarked how cool it was that I was Jewish - you have some powerful women. That was a different day than when I learned of the poem ‘Pippa Passes’ = God art thou in heaven and all is right in the world.

So much magic in me. And. Now. It. Is. All. Light.

What. A. Freaking. Blessing!

Carol Anne had mentioned the Church of the Holy Cross to me. After a tough day at ChocolaTree… I went. Guided not to go straight there, rather meditate and hike down below. At around 5pm I went up, thinking it would be closed. It wasn't. There was a taize service Monday nights.

Pippa and I went. And prayed HARD. And as I began I realized, it had been YEARS since I prayed in community, AND my relationship with God was different.

it was powerful, magical and filled with an abundance of tears.

When I left - the last one out of the chapel, I encountered 3 women. The mother… Maggie - a mother of 5… BOTH of my grandmothers were mothers of 5…

Okay… it keeps going… and it did.

I had dinner with Renee, Rhonda and Maggie… and continued to enter into and observe feminine interactions… like with the 4 matriarchs, and other incredible women like Kim, and Mitra and Sarah and so many beautiful women who’s names escape me… since we began this chapter at thanksgiving.

And it continues on...

I"m reminded of a couple crescendos. I was texting with Catherine who had taken a beautiful photo of Pippa and me.

"It was 12:22 when you left" "Of course it was" "Carol Ann says check your journal"

She had written "Your greatest tool is the REMEMBERING you are WHOLE + infinitely loved <3"

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Someone once said to me, life isn't weird, life is silly.

Yes.

And it's magnificent. And unpredictable.

And.

That's delicious.

Goodness, much in the brain. Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.

Mostly solitude today. Writing. Guided to write. Whatever comes out. To write. To dance. To be. To release. To allow.

Whatever comes out.

Hi - hello audience. Whoever you are.

I'm Nura. I've had a lot of spiritual experiences. And I allow God, the Universe to dictate others I will have. I'm a bit confused today. It makes sense. Have I had boundaries with myself? Maybe not. And. I love myself. I love you too. Much to grieve. And. just to live. Grateful to live. Grateful for thils life. This wild and weird and wonderful life.

Solid now. Was touch and go there for a sec. And we're back. The ego is dying. And it's fighting back. And. It's dying. So is the shadow. It's exciting. And. Into the unknown.

I hold much wisdom. And. I'm not an extemporaneous person.

A generator.

A generator responds. So. I write when random stuff pops in. And it meanders.

And. I can speak on anything. Vibe to anything.

And. I'm at my best. When. I respond. Vamp. Jump off.

Of a situation.

A wandering wizard. Exactly where I need to be . Cleansing teh veils.

Give me a prompt.

I am grateful to be a wandering wizard. Talkign to people. Activating self and others. And healing both in the process. Sharing wisdom. Praciting and integrating in self.

And. I choose to ground myself. To breather. To ground. To breathe. To be disciplined.

So. Darkness. Does. Not. Enter.

Oops.

I was warned.

And. It'll pass.

THere's a lot of spiritual bypass in the spirit world. I'm guilty of it. Totally. And. Passive agression. Veiling.

I'm deep in my wounded ego right now. I was hurt in an interaction with a spiritual friend. I felt projected upon, and was present to the fact that neither of us were in our lower chakras - speaking in concepts and aphorisms... dancing around whether to engage a romantic relationship. No pelvis to be found.

I named this. Clumsily. Over text last night. Atttempting to own my experience and bridge connection to start a conversation. "I observe that neither of us are grounded... in our lower 3 chakras"

It was perceived as an attack. As a critique. As not accepting him as he was. And then I was met with "when are you going to allow people to be as they are" - WHAT??? Hello projection. There was more. I'm paraphrasing anyway. It's the gist.

My ego is sounded. I'm taking it personally. Because I *feel* it. Try as I might, it hits my BODY. My mental ego can let go. Can see each of our wounded parts

This is an exercise in writing. In healing. In giving my parts a voice. I love me. I love him. The wounded parts. It hurt...physically to be met with... and then today, I clapped back. And was met with "you think you're some kind of messiah... and I'm some failed teacher and every teacher is wrong. I know what I know... good luck to you" when before that he had been extolling what amazing energy I have.

I allow self examination. There are parts of me that *know* I'm unique - but not like that. I don't know what I am. I intimidate folx. Clearly. What I know about myself... what I've observed... what's really fucking challenging to embody...

I become a mirror. I am a mirror. And. I see through. It all. Where it gets tricky, is my communication skills are clumsy. And. Even if they're not, a lot of folx don't like, aren't ready, or aren't open to... truth.

I have my veiling. Often. I'm not clear. Most of the time. But when I am. I'm on it.

I dunno. This is a bit of processing. Catharsis. Healing on my own.

Thank you for being here and I love you. I am you and you are me. Please forgive me. I forgive myself.

What I don't do, is give away power. Unity is not submission. Oneness. Enlightenment. Healing. Is not submission. Going back to source. Is not submission. It's assertiveness. It's taking a stand. Its BEING IN POWER AND FLOW. It's modeling justice. Truth. TRUTH. Jumbled. And I know what I know.

i am Nura. I am light. I am confident. No more bullshit. No more nice. Kind... not nice.

Observation. Mirroring. Gratitude.

Money flows easily. Abundance flows easily. Empowerment flows easily. Surrender to divine flow, with empowerment. Light. Light. Light. Surrender to divine flow with divine sovreignty. Divine magesty. Divine assertiveness. Boundaries. Bliss. Receiving. All of it.

Do I resist life itself? Yes and no. All is perfect. Provided. Catalyze. Make waves. Ripple effects. Teach. Or veil. Whatever works. Ego is here. Angry. Attached to outcome. Okay. I let go. I wish you well on your journey. I wish me well on mine. I am light. I am light. I am light. NO regrets I am light I am light. I am light. Trust. Empowered. Light. Magic. Magic. Magic.

The provider. The bestower. The benevolent. The co-creator.

I have a voice. A vision. A gift to see. I receive. And. I. Take. No. Bullshit. And I heal. Which is connected to no bullshit.

Optimal spirituality isn't laying down. It's also not taking things personally and... "you think you're so hot"

I was hurt by what he said, and the clapping back. Because his attacks on me were ad hominem. I made no attacks. And that's the difference. That's the bypass.

What's the feeling. I'm hurt. It's stuck hurt. And. It becomes activism. So. Hooray. I am light. I am light. I am light.

We are all one. And. It takes tests and trials to get there. :Sigh: I bring those trials. I forgive myself. Im proud of myself.

I bless you. I release you. I bless you.

Trauma, and nervous systems, and dogs.

Why are we so much more patient with "rescue dogs" and celebratory of their rescuers?

Why do we often condemn the traumatized human and allow govenrments, community organizations and mental health organizations to cast them aside as "they just don't want to be helped... they want to stay sick"

No. No No no. There's lots of choice involved, and let's toss out the notion that folx want to stay sick, or homeless or... any judment of the sort. First I'll use a metaphor of a dog. Then I'll speak to my strugles and triumphs and struggles and triumphs.

When there's a traumatized dog and a human comes with a pet, a stick, a loving gesture, and the dog cowers, or snaps, I would venture most humans would have compassion, would understand "oh, that dog is doing her best, she sees me as like others in her history. Okay, let me be at choice in how to be with her" Perhaps the human will hold consistent loving presence and wait and wait and wait, not reacting when the dog snaps, until, eventually, the dog learns to trust. Perhaps the human will say 'you know what, I see that dog is struggling, and I don't blame the dog, and I don't have the container to wait or love." What I would hope is the human wuoldn't say "bad dog, here, let me yell back, and/or hit the dog in retaliation" - no, for some reasno, in dogs, we have more understanding. I'm not saying ANYONE should tolerate abuse. And EVEN MORE, I AM saying it is NEVER appropriate to abuse... back. Traumatized humans react. I... often... react. Trapped, overwhelmed, pulled by so many energies... parts of me DESPERATELY wanting to be soft and loving and connect. Other parts rapt with terror and suffocating my throat chakra such that the soft and loving words cannot come out. Energetically layering years of abuse and patterning over the here and now. And when one gets offended, snaps back, condemns... well, that validated my lack of safety. Hell, my nervous system tends not to trust the loving folx either "they're lying, they're saccharine" - maybe, but there's less evidence to that.

Trauma is healed in the body and spirit. Corrective emotional experiences of LOVE heals... all things. And not being retraumatized. slow. Titration.

-----------------

So, without fail it takes a tiktok tarot and it being 4pm for me to find motivation. Push through whatever voice or energy. And take action. And that's all groovy.

What's on tap right now? What feels relevant is to partially speak to... why 4pm motivation? I have a couple theories, not many real answers. For starters. My human design digestion is Indirect light. Meaning I digest information, food, all.the.things out of UV light. A dark bathroom or closet is my jam (also, my environment is meant to be a cave-like environment, dark and able to control) - long before I studied human design, this was my human experience. ALWAYS getting the motivation/calming at around 4pm. Bathrooms and closets and cars for safety, and able to eat HUGE meals at 11pm and always be so little.

Right now I'm writing this from a tiny house. It's been delightful. And I'm aligning to my source and higher self. Fall. Get up. Fall. Get up.

So many experiences. Teachers. Memories. Thoughts. Go with the flow. I talk to my HS and guides on the regular. and they speak in code. But sometimes I miss it. In one of my oracle decks, 14 is "go with the flow" - in another it's "forgiveness" so when the number 14 pops in, it could be those, it could also be look at teh 14th post on facebook or tiktok. Right now I asked... the voices said "yellow' which could be peace/ease... or oneness. And here's the thing. Maybe it doesn't matter. I mean, it kinda matters. The universe has set up remarkable and wonderous events and experiences for me. Always is. And I choose to receive. It is safe to receive. I trust. I trust. I trust. I call forth abundance. Wisdom. Love. And I love myself. Acting in service of love is new. It means trusting the universe. It means listening. Doing. Asking questions to get clarity. Or just to do.

Goodness I'm an open field. And I have some doubts about some modern meta and shadow. Sure, let's do shadow work. And. That stuff is going away and. Ego work. Maybe its a distinction without a difference. Shadow work is ego wok. \

-----------------

I love myself completely. I release old patterns and people completely. I step into my power uniquely. And I love. I am Nura. I am light. I release and let go of everything from the past. So the present and future may come to me. To make space. To invite. To receive.

I release and let go. That was then. This is now. I am free. I elease and let go. Into the wisdom. Of my body. Of my ancestors. Of my Source. I release and let go. Darkness has no place here. Neither does trauma. The doors are closed.

I love you. I forgive you Little one. I forgive you for being so little. And wanting to love. Wanting to please. And attach. I forgive you little one. For not being the grown one. For not having boundaries or safety or wisdom. To say NO. I forgive you little one, for being caught, in a war of spirits. of light and dark, fighting for your power. I forgive you little one. for lacking capacity, for not supposed to have capacity, to protect this body. I forgive you and myself for being afraid to run and play. I forgive you little one, for believing your adults who stuffed your light. I forgive you little one, for taking refuge, for asserting force, when timeline said 'you're an adult now' I forgive myself for the inner conflict and not feeding your light. Always always. You are my beloved child. I love you. I see you. I play with you. I forgive you little one. I am you. I let you play. I hold you close. I nurture and love you.

I release all stored emotions.

I go inward. And I step out. I forgive you little one. For being so wise. And yet so small. I forgive you. I forgive you. And I let us play together. we play in the sandbox. And with the unicorns. And with the paints. We play with Pippa. And in the bathtub. And in the snow. On the jungle gym. IN the rain. Dancing. Free. Light. I forgive you little one. And I love you. Please forgive me. Ilove you dearly. I forgive you little one.

Soo. Let's talk about trauma. And connection. And healing. And spirituality. Let's talk a lot of things.

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Storytime:

Before I left DC a couple months ago- news alert to those I haven't spoken to in a minute - I invited a friend, J, from my building to chat. She had become a meaningful part of my life in the past year and I wanted to let her know in person and say goodbye.

When she arrived at my apartment, we sat down:

"Do you know why I wanted to chat?"

I assumed she had put the pieces together, I'd been downsizing my apartment, posting items on our building's listserv

"Oh... you're upset with me. I'm so sorry I've been distant, I've been busy and stressed and..."

...apparently, she hadn't.

"Oh... honey... no... nothing of the sort! I'm moving... and I wanted to tell you and say goodbye"

"Ohhhhh!... ohhh "

Yeah... and incumbent in her... fear that I was upset, and sadness that I was leaving. was a care. Was a longing to connect. Was a love.

I don't remember what I said (or even if I've got either of our words accurate - J - I apologize for any liberties in quoting you) but it reflected the above.

"I'm not at all upset with you, and that you feared that, tells me that you value our friendship"

I get choked up even typing this now.

This morning, this event popped into my heart amidst my meditation. I was being with this long held discomfort and block that remains, and has measurably softened, that runs an entire meridian of the left side of my body with big concentrations in my throat, lower back, heart, and shoulder.

I was being with fear and rage and fear and self condemnation at having signed and paid for a contract with a deeply loving coach for a year's worth of sessions... at the same time each week. And unconditional loving regard. All day. Everyday.

As with J above, my whole life, and in spiritual and personal development, circling, authentic relating, conventional and liminal social interactions... I've always been one to see/feel/articulate what was beneath. What wasn't being spoken. What was being masked.

While I'm increasing my facility with the practice, when I'm operating at my best, I rarely listen to, or even hear your words. What's at face value. Because my lenses hear... feel... understand... the depths. The spirit. And, for so long, *I've* felt missed because it's been my perception that others DID listen to *my* words. Believed what actually functioned to conceal. No one could see me the way I could see others. That may not have been true. And that's sure how it felt.

This morning. I was able to... I chose... to see myself.

"What is this... what's here... I'm angry about the commitment I don't like to commit to things... I want to be totally free for whatever to come at that fixed time each week... okay... what's beneath that... I'm afraid this'll be another waste of time and money... okay...

I'm really excited. I've felt so loved, appreciated, seen and cared for in the short relationship. And I really want this to work out. I really want to step into my power. I really want to - fuck it, I observe that I am expanding my container for love and vulnerability and power... and that feels... owww...

As memories gently flood of sharing an art project, poem or sermon I was proud of, and immediately met with critique by a (former) loved one. So I kinda stopped doing much of that... especially with myself.

Enneagram folx would remark that I don't want to be annhiliated again. And that's exactly the memories that were flooding. And I was holding. And calling on spirit and self. And having compassion for.

Okay...that was then and this is now. Past experience does not indicate future results. The soul tribe folx I've met and connected with recently overwhelmingly have been NOTHING of the sort. And especially (coach) and more than that, I love me now. I LOVE ME NOW!

I'm excited. I want this REALLY bad. I want ME really bad. I am still carrying wounding. And fear... and memories... in that left side of my body... of those unmet bids.

The healing professional, parent or associate who *was supposed to* celebrate, co-regulate, model or teach healthy living. But instead fixed, critiqued, ignored.

I get it. It's what you we're modeled, or taught. And I come with a big energy field for the un-trained/grounded. And. I forgive you.

And. Today. I hold myself. I dig into my own spirit. I see, nurture and celebrate and hold those fearful and excited parts.

In the most specific case, its what committing to a *relationship* and the ups and downs and the learnings and the catalysis of... amazingness one cannot imagine... to be wholly loved and committed to the experience. To be committed to myself. It's trusting myself that if my needs change and an adjustment needs to be made, that I can check in with and love myself first and make a loving request. And. That the request will be met with love, and accomodated if appropriate.

It's my willingness to believe in myself. To sit with and be with myself. To love, see and hold the beauty underneath.

And share it.

I started to type "I don't know why I'm posting or writing this..." and that's not true. That was another veil, like the fear in the shoulder. I'm softening to and steping out into my willingness to love and reveal myself. All of me. Even as it changes and adapts and flits around. I'm revealing myself and my stories that it may yield catharsis and love for self, and catalysis and inspiration for others.

And. I'm done with the shame.

So, this is a preview of what's to come. Published? Unpublished? Website? Tiktok? Who knows.

I'm telling my stories tho...

I'm certain there's still some veiling, because it takes incredible time and discernment to get to *all* layers. And.

I want to be loved. And seen. And celebrated. And received. And receive.

And I love myself. And I love you too.

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I saw a psychiatrist on TikTok exclaim that you cannot escape mental health issues. It was meant to be compassionate. And as a psychiatrist who takes medication (per his disclosure in his videos) I trust that he believes that.

And he's wrong.

He's well meaning. He believes what he's selling. He's been taught to believe what he's selling.

And he's wrong.

He's perpetuating the old, wrong beliefs that have, and aim to keep humanity trapped, small, docile and medicated. Beholden to outside forces. Trapped. Contained. Afraid.

Healing is possible.

Mental health isn't mental.

Medication is NOT a cure.

At best, it's a pretty lousy band aid, maybe a cast, with some numbing agent, that keeps you fixed in your current experience.

Fine. And I don't want to be numb.

In my own journey, I recall a psychaitrist I REALLY didn't like saying to me one time: "There's no real medication for [the diagnosis he have me] - you need Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, medication will mute you, do you want to be muted?"

I didn't know at the time how right he was. Because I'm not sure he knew how right he was. And he wasn't able to explain, or I wasn't able to receive, in a healthy and compassionate way that I understood.

Years later, after drama and failed trials with medications, conversations, connections... and recommendations for massage, qigong and acupuncture, a dear, gentle psychiatrist said to me "I don't know what to do with you, I don't think you have a medical problem, I think you have a spiritual problem" - again, I wasn't able to receive it. I didn't understand. And. I am forever grateful for the seed he planted.

There are no medical problems.

None.

There are medical manifestations of spiritual issues.

There are 3D manifestations of issues sourced at the higher etheric realms.

And it's all manifestations.

By the time it hits the 3D...

So what's the remedy?

Fierce. Love.

Fierce. Boundaries.

Fierce. Awareness.

Fierce. Perseverance.

Fierce. Strength.

Even amidst MASSIVE resistance. Energy. Pain

I have a strong voice. Clarity. Opinions. Views. Wisdom.

This world of suffering. Bullshit. And. I get to... I have... I continue to... escape the matrix. I call in money. Love. Safety. Wisdom. Security. a platform. Manifestation. Words matter. I speak with dignity. Ease. Grace and only what I want. I am a beautiful, powerful sovreign. Safe. Inspirational being of light. I am healed. I am a vessel of light. My body is full of light energy. I am Nura. I travel in my van. I have infinite funds for all I desire. I serve in the liminal spaces. I am in the right place at the right time. I am sovreign. Safe. Whole. Healthy. Free. I release and let go of all that is not in my highest good. I have healthy boundaries. I have clear skin. I have a snatched jawline and high cheekbones. My third eye is open

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We’re being tasked as a collective to let go. Of everything. We’ve been tasked with it for a while. But now it’s really go-time.

Astrology. Psychology. Religion.

Good stuff.

And.

Crutches.

Taken us away from our bodies and knowing.

I know… observe… witness… in myself.

The energy to go to the hot springs yesterday. A litte nudge inside me said “stay out late, get a room and soak at night.” I was praying and hearing beautiful zkhir while soaking. I cleansed. Downloaded. I forgot. I remembered.

As I do.

I had beautiful soul alligned interactions. And. Eventually… I *wanted* to eat dinner… whereupon I… *wanted* yummy dessert. I told myself I was doing somethink kind for myself. Really, there was also a voice that said “resist temptation’

Here’s a screenshot from an astrology app for my transits right now.

Had I looked at that yesterday would I have made different decisions? Maybe slightly. And I *know* I’m tapped in. And I forget. Distrust. Choose to misunderstand.

It’s okay. And. It’s real. And I have compassion for myself.

Hell, 3 conversations yesterday included the theme of we learn and grow by making mistakes again… and again… and again.

That sugar rush and crash from the first purely refined dessert I’ve had in MONTHS… was fierce.

I resisted getting the salad… or the apple pie…

Next time I’ll do better?

I have the knowing? Do I have the skills?

If I believe I do.

How many conversations have I had lately saying my (Human Design, Enneagram, Astrology, Astrocartography etc) validated and helped me have compassion for everything I already knew and observed in myself.

Lots.

“Stop studying, just receive.” says Higher Self.

Okay! Okay.

So I charge me. I charge us all. I charge me.

Align. Let go. Receive. Do.

All is provided.

One with the divine. Spiritual practice. Love. Love Love love love surrender kndness. embodiment.

I forgive and align. What were the downloads earlier? Stop studying. Organizing systems are just that. Embody embody embody. Love love love. High vibe. It’s all inside. Everything. Do we need books? We might, do I? They’re nice. I’m better off on a walk or in prayer. And. Follow through. When clear. I forgie i forgive I forgive. I forgive. I forgive. I forgive

A write. Healer. Wanderer.

Love love Love. Power. Light. Clearing shit. Forgiving. Integrating. All. Is perfect. When all is aligned. The nervous system… jeez oh man.

So what’s my lever? What’s my story. The story to tell, to write, to take on? I love myself. I am me. I choose to be me. I choose to listen. To discern. I enjoy this experience of sitting outside by a fire. staring blankly, typing. Letting it come. It’ll go on the website later.

All is provided. Much wisdom. Comes trough me. easier. safer. clearer.

in isolation

because with the humans, I have to tell self deprecating stories. or go to shadow. I don’t have to. And I do. And I forgive mself

Many states of consciousness each day. I like the one I’m in. Power. joy. stillness. Prayer in teh back of my mind.

All is perfect. No mistakes. Lessons. Blessings. Other paths.

Aligned. Love. Loe Love. Sovreignty.

Environment is vital for me. Pfagels

waaaa.

Out of practice? It’s okay. much wisdom. And the world provides the breadcrumbs, the catalyst. the codes.

to bring us back to ourselves.

I respond. I know I do. Align. boundaries. vibing. unwinding.

forgive.

if its hysterical it’s historical.

I don’t want to take that class. So I won’t. The new downloads - much like the old or wisdom of the… dark being… point to letting go of the systems. Is it dark co-opt? My HD/gene keys say I *need* to study systems. They also say… it doesn’t mater because I have a depth of holding and wisdom.

Stop studying, just receive.

Trust I know the truth. Or the hand motions, or the light language, or the wisdom…

Even if I don’t know why… or how… or what.

I’m not well read

But I’m wise.

I get the concepts. Even if I lack the words or the context.

It’s all inside. It’s all provided. We are exactly where e need to be.

So this is my… whatever for today. Right now.

I forgive.

Here comes more. I always wanted to make meaningful experiences.

folx, tik tok, overhearings have been about work and work ethic.

yes. okay. I hear you. and magic. as a product of work. e=mc2

f\matter is not created nor destroyed, only changed. altered. moved. acted upon.

okay. keep going. keep going

trigger. trigger. forgiveness.

respite. let go. who talks to me?

lots.

powerful. liminal. love

we attract what we are

we create. we loe.

forgive.

i rorgive. i reframe. reframe. choose. all teh teachigns and classes.

nervous system. okay.

was the “download” about this being my last incarnation true? I dont’ know.

it reminds me tho - the big download…

we incarnate. we forget. we… I… we… are here to wake eachother up. So we may return to gan eden again. to the oneness. absent the maia. no body. joy. float. being. beautiful. spirits. love. simple.

None of it mattets.

What matters is love. kindness. simplicity.

all is provided

walking folx to that oneness. the bliss. it was nice to be there. and it’ll be nice to go deeper

let go beloved. let go. please let go.

ani lo yodaat. that’s the best.

i don’t *actually* know wny I reconnected with thaty gyy. my mind told the story it was for romance. Is it? Could be. Maybe not. And. because i told the story, I had the nervous system and trauma responses.

and. infinite possibilities. maybe it’s none o that. same thing with taht othet guy. or that girl. or that healer. teacher. book. food.

i don’t know.

one of the first things that person taught me. Did he know what he was teaching? a clumsy channel with a clumsy channel.

thank you. as it comes full circle.

i dont know

all is provided

align

forgive.

okay.

i love you.

1/20/22

I got a big uplevel last night. I don't remember what It was. I trust it'll come through again. Or... it's also coming through the collective and I'll see it on tiktok.

My field got BIG, and I was sweating in a cold sweat. That's always a good sign. I lost my body for a bit. Went to ego/shadow that it'd be like that all day/forever. Nope, of course.

We're here for relationships. And. To heal and grow eachother. And. To return to source. Consciousness. Light.

We're here to have experiences. Love. Feel. Engage. Create.

And there's more than that Something else. It'll return.

The camper van, the property - it's so mundane. I guess another part of my resistance stems from the flavor of what reality is. So I've taken that towards nihlism in this life.

That's not true.

The teaching is for everyone to taste the bounty of what reality is. And for me... everyone... to go deeper into that reality.

The beauty of what we're truly comprised of. Beneath our bodies. Beneath the bodies of all beings.

Fractals. Numbers. Shapes. Letters. Colors.

Holy shit.

The fights I used to have with Brian - "you see the world in 1's and 0's and I see it in shapes, letters, squigglies, colors"

Actually. Both are true. The 1's and 0's comprise the shapes, letters, colors and vice versa.

And. That's our core.

What we "know" - or rather perceive as reality, on the physical plane is just a manifestation of that code, in our minds. Our CPU. Okay. Still haven't gotten to the download from last night. And... it'll come

So... we're here to awaken. To learn. Grow. Experience light. Experience life. Experience contrast.

And.

Unite.

We're separate. Right now. Because we've created separation.

But that's not how we were designed.

We were designed as unique. But not separate.

Unique to serve different functions and roles.

As part of the prophesy and mission to unite. Hmm.

May all beings know peace. May all beings know peace. May all beings know light and stillness. May all beings know peace.

Everythign is happening for me. Always. The darkness serves the light. To cast a shadow. To poke at. To catalyze. To grow. To empower. Something.

Everything... everyone's everything to bring the collective, the universe, to homeostasis in love.

Personal missions in healing and growth. In service of collective.

How does that work?

Heal. Hold space. Uncover and unmoor the hidden and the dark and the wounds. May it be cleansed with light so we may all be One.

As a healthy collective. Like in tribal communities.

My mission and yearning to travel stem in part because I'm here to learn about native religion and tribal worship... to be in that vibration in order to get those codes and bring that to this collective. Similar with all the random reading, downloads and starseed commjnities. Get a little about a lot and launch it?

The common thread tho - le eleha ill allah - there is no God but God. AND. God is our unique source point, alignment that connects all of us. Universal consciousness manifested differently in each and every being. Are we in alignment tho.

in the end, Our pieces of universal consciounsness, when deployed correctly according to our purposes and mission... bring us... separatly and as a collective, back to the ONE. To that homeostasis.

Okay... that's why the universal laws. That are basically the same across religions even if the narratives, stories, and sound codes arise differently.

What picture do ou paint from the sound codes. From the images, from the message. Which filters are applied to the codes. Which illness have distorted the filters

1/17/22

Full moon. Writing. Just writing. Remember all the things. Put out the poetry. I am a poet. I am a writer. I am Nura.

Nura-logical

NOPE.

Light. Light. Light.

I am light. I am the light. I am light. I am the light.

And I receive. I slow down to receive. I integrate and beiieve. All the things over all the years.

Because I have a voice. Wisdom. As a bridge between the science and the spirit. As a bridge between the humans and the spirit. as a bridge between the hard and the soft. the light and the dark.

Nura. Light.

A bridge between the doggos and the humans. A bridge between the entities and the embodied.

In love. in love. in love.

Write. Just write they say. ANd... Publish. Like I... they... we've been telling Joel. Get it out there. Your audience will find you. So I'll go through my journals and take mor photos of my writing. And it'll land here. And my audience will find me. Maybe it's you.

I forgive myself for all the courses I didn't take. And i allow intergration of all that I intiuitively know. Maybe I know this shit without knowing this shit. I've always "known" without words.

and I release. And I connect. And I allow.

In service of God. IN service of god

1/11/22

Allowing surrender.

To the mystery. To the one.

What I seek is seeking me.

Under the sun.

Boundaries abound.

Surrender to the ONE.

Allah, Source. Almighty.

Thy will be done.Into the healing. Into the light.

Into simplicity. Safety. Miracles bright.

I see you I hear you. I love you my God

I am your Nura. here is my shot.

Patiently waiting. Open to receive.

In love and in knowing.

I experience. I believe.

To know we know little.

Surrender to source.

All is provided. Inner and outer force.

I release from my body. I release from my heart.

Any energies or beings. That keep us apart.

In love, light and oneness.

Out and alive.

Provided for. Connected

Advendure and thrive.

Adventure inside. Adventure inside. I turn to the light. In you I reside.

Love light and service. Imagination. TRust. Patience.

All here together. Service. Container.

Boundaries. Forgiveness. Risks undertaken.

Notice and feel it. Never forsaken

Love light and power. I show off myself. I don't need makeup or glasses. Miraculous health.

My eyes have perfect vision..

My skin is fully clear.

My body is healthy.

My love always near.

I nourish my body. A being of light. My guides do provide. The life of delight.

Delight is my birthright. And an epic life I live. With boundless compassion

------------------

One "no" can change your life.

So can one yes.

We're on an ascension timeline.

And we GET to live in the human 3/5D plane. For now.

No. I say NO when I enter the higher realms of consciousness that the not-so-delightful beings would have me operate in.

I say YES to me. To the light. To agency and service.

Getting out of being a hermit. Into the world. Wandering. Communicating. Healing.

Modeling that folx can take themselves out of the timeline of being controlled by others.

Owning that and believing that myself.

We are sovereign beings of light.

I say NO to scarcity. Fear. Lack.

I way YES to facing the fear. Saying "thankyou" and... fuck off!

I come back to this human body. And I release, delete and uncreate, transmute, metabolize and let go of all of the trauma, darkness, anger, PFAGLES, resentments, blame, shame, attachments and resistance... across all space time realities, POD POC all 12, good bad, right wrong, shorts boys and beyonds.

It's done. No. I align with source and I hold my filed. I hold my field I hold my field. Across all dimensions. And... right now. In this one. When pulled to higher states, I come back. I can exist in both places. BOTH places. And I choose to

12/29:

How does one chronicle a life? A journey?

I do the wisdom that I tell others.

I just start.

Soo... I'm an open channel. Light being. Much light and shadow. But much light.

The wisdom that pours through. The light. The gifts. The channeling. Okay. Embrace it.

Write. Be.

Where do I start. I start. I'd rather tell stories. Just start. Okay.

Today I cleaned a community. It's what I do. I get guidance to wander... on foot or in car... and I follow. Usually.

Lately I've been going to small and/or impoverished towns. It doesn't feel good in my human. It HURTS my physical body and sometimes I get a little scared. And. Then light language pours though. Or hand motions. Or both.

In those times, I'm tasked to bring light. In that way.

Other times it's a kindly conversation with a stranger. A compliment. Sharing my dog.

Okay... a lightworker. A reluctant prophet.

Oh yeah - that's where i was going to start this post.

I'm a reluctant prophet. I used to think I was crazy. Or that others were but I lacked power/control.

Now, I know I'm not crazy... usually... when I'm grounded... and. There's a lot of me. Disorganized. Lived much experience. Touched many lives.

I'm meeting a lot of angels and prophets lately - Michael, Peter, Paul, Mary. Noah. Aaron. Rohit... or other names and souls that are connected... Brian, Catherine, Betsy... it's ALL connected.

Gabriel, Fairies, Unicorns, Dragons, Pleadians, Peacemakers, Arcturians, Hadarians, Falcons, Ravens all supporting me right now. Thank you. May I learn to discern and allow you to navigate this family. May I serve in alignment and service to the highest light.

Ugh... okay... today:

Conversations with beautiful strangers. Inspirational. Self effacing.

Own your power beloved.

Who am I? Many things. Nura Danielle - a being of light. I want it all. I choose light.

How can I cultivate and use my gifts? You just do.

One of my gifts is to see, feel, understand, the deep layers of people... what they really mean or feel well below what is conscious. I.see.truth.

Light or dark. I embrace it. I've bene hurt and persecuted for it.

And now. I embrace it.

I am a healer. A writer. I'd love to be a reader... I have infinite time, but not infinite time in this lifetime.

So I start. And right now I'm stream of consciousness. Shadow of some sugar - ego gathered up false signs. Mmm... gluttony.

And then sloth. Discernment. Love.

I forgive myself for fear. for foreclosing love. For wanting it my way. And. I allow incrementality. To open to certain types of love. My angels brought back memories of missed opportunities for love, or being open to receiving last night, they were guiding me to connect with Michael, and maybe he'll call. I was scared. I am scared. Was Michael with the dog like Aaron with the dog? Aaron didn't feel good, but there were some light and dark synchronicities. Michael didn't feel good, but only from a trauma perspective. As tears start to flow. For which i'm grateful.

Michael, if you're reading this, call me. Seriously. Or e-mail. I gave you my card. I was scared, in a trauma response. And. Allow the mulligan. Let me let you appreciate me, as our spirit teams brought us together. Let me learn from you and encourage you. We were guided together. I don't know what, or why, and I'm willing to... wanting to... continue the conversation.

I dreamt last night of working at Panera, and me being lazy, cutting corners in a work assignment, and also a large shift in their ethos. Chaos and community. I have the visions - how do I put it into words? What did I feel? Shame, expansion. I dreamt briefly of M, who sent me a nice-ish e-mail in response to me inquiring about appointment status.

I delete and uncreate M from my consciousness.

I forgive myself for listening to... i'm not even sure, on that.

I let go of everything that doesn't serve me. In remembering my Dupont circle guy channeling yesterday, and sharing the story, the big takeaway I forgot "One NO will change your life" - hot damn. No to the voices. No to the humans? And it cuts both ways. May I please get unstuck and make healthy choices. To receive abundance. Which shows in many forms. I choose to feel my feelings. I choose to allow the LIGHT to rip all these energies from my body and I choose to receive the abundance that flows freely to me. I choose to allow my worthiness of said abundance.

I choose sovereignty - to balance my soul's mission of lightwork with light work that *feels* good for me. I am grateful. I am grateful and I am a guerilla healer. Telling y'all that maybe removes some to the guerilla part. But that's okay. I can expand into formal. And. I like the liminal spaces. I like both. I'll gladly do both. Love me, support me, provide energy exchange for my services. And. Others I do as service. Clear karma, and. It just feels good. Sometimes.

Driving around meandering doesn't always feel good. And. Every now and then as I'm cleaning poverty, Gaia cleans me. So... there's that balance. Gratitude for the majesty of this planet. For the enchantment fo the forests and trees. For all the different energies.

Right - yesterday I was a filter.

I am a powerful lightworker. Many things. I am many things.

Michael yesterday started to project (observe my soul) that I'm well read, intellectual, successful. That is my energy.

He shared that he's not certain things. I paused him because *I* was uncomfortable "I want to hear what you are, not what you're not" - my shadow was showing, and I'm okay with that. Becasue what I am (infinite awareness) is far more important. And aspirational. I am well read (even if I'm not, I am the ennergy of well read so I have capacity to become, or know everthing I need to know, or all of it). I am confident. I am solid. I am boundaried. I am safe. I am loving. I am capable. I am a faithful servant of the divine. I am Protected by the light of all divine beings. I discern. I let go of regret. I ask my spirits questions. All of them. And then, I listen.

Last night synchronisities took me to sushi. And I didn't want sushi. But my human believed it to be the only game in town. Then my synchronisities AND body inquiry took me to burgers. Okay body. Thank you.

Body this is a safe place to be and I choose this. Body please forgive me and I love you. I am you and you are me. please forgive me. I forgive myself. The voices say keep writing. I'd like to stop and find my phone. And. I'll buy another phone via samsung or best buy. Soon.

-------------------------------

Religion

I recently commented on a TikTok from a Rabbi who essentially said if you "Believe in Jesus" (her words) you are an apostate.

I didn't intend to be trolling, and it rubbed me the wrong way, as that kind of thing always has. I commented "What do you mean belief in Jesus - there's a continuum from Jesus existed, performed miracles, was God" In my world I was speaking to the imprecision of the concept of "belief in Jesus" - but it wasn't received that way. In my world, LONG before I had any personal connection to Jesus, or any form of divinity or magic, Jesus was always a hitorical figure who existed.

The Rabbi replied to my comment "we believe Jesus probably existed, but he's not in the bible and..." to be honest I don't quite remember. Maybe I'll post here a link to the actual tiktok(s) for accuracy sake.

Many others took, what I otherwise thought was a directed, if benign comment, to task. And that says way more about them than it does about me. Speaking to "well, that's not Judaism" and "we don't believe that" -- don't believe what? What did I say? I asked what was the line for apostacy and if Jesus existed. OR at least I thought so. And, at least in my world, why would owning that Jesus performed miracles be a condition for apostacy? Is God the only one who performs miracles? Can we say the miracles were God working through Jesus?

Why does allowing that magical things happen automatically raise cackles.

I mean, I guess I get it. The folx who jumped on my comment were probably in their own trauma response. Looping me in with all the folx over the years who've said "Jesus is God, and if you don't believe, you must die" or "Your religion has no value" - now that is NOT what I was saying. AND. I get it. I get the conditioning towards hearing that. Always.

So I have compassion.

And that doesn't mean I don't want to do better. Everyone.

So, I was born a Jew. In this lifetime. Probably others. And. I've experienced magic and miracles. Had conversations with Jesus' consciousness, Mary, Angels, prophets, faeries, dragons, ETs. So... I'm not one to limit my understanding of divinity or spirituality to one path or book. But once upon a time, I hadn't had the connection to these divine beings, and I still acknowledged Jesus existed. And did good shit. And it PISSED ME OFF when my teachers or clergy would espouse tikkun olam and hachnasat orchim in one sentence and hold back to the superiority of the "chosen people" and insularity protect our own trope in another.

There's no monopoly on divinity. On God. On light.

LIGHT

Hell, in my current workings with it... I don't know if there's 4 source points, many, 1 source of the 4 source? Was it "God" who sent the Torah/Tanakh? Quran? Eastern sacred texts? Was it a particular light being collective?

With greater meditation and downloads (plus study with teachers who are clearer channels than I) my money is on the latter. You look at the grammar in the western sacred texts - there's a lot of "We" and "Us" when God refers to theirself. It's all good shit. Towards unity. Goodness. Healthy mind, bodies, spirit.

But not a monopoly. Superior. The only.

Today I've had conversations where my partners spoke of how tribalism and modern society has made us more lonely, isolated, numb and sad. And how gentrification and colonialization is necessary for advancement and a foregone conclusion. Always. I agreed with and supported the former - feeling soft and embracing how the earth is shifting... backwards... sideways... to 5D unity/collective culture. AND to the latter... I pushed back... NO, it doesn't HAVE to be that way. There's a richness in the big tent. In unity, love, embracing, elevating and integrating differences.

Ugh, my trauma is showing and processing. 15 years ago, on a date "I wish we could go and live in tribal societies - everyone helping everyone collectively" "That's regressive and republican of you" - ugh, okay sure. How many times did people shit on my valuing diversity. And I didn't hold my ground. I let my trauma win and the patriarchy... win. Oops. Nope. NOt anymore. And... I may have gotten these, and other downloads early... and I'm glad the world is making it happen, and I'm jumping on board in my wandering and talking way.

Okay - back to the issue at hand. God, divinity, source is all of us. Maybe I was trolling, and... ugh, it just pains me that all of these things divide. I'm all for, celebrating uniqueness, holding it, having cultural identification. But when it comes to superiority, isolation, rejection. No thank you.

Love. Love. Love. All. All All.

Jesus lived. His consciousness lives on. Lots of folx carry it. Folx in the Tanakh may have. He had a mission. Muhammad had a mission. Noah, Buddha, Dalai Lama, DAvid Copperfield... me, you, all of us.

Can't we all just get along?

Maybe my sadness and anger is showing. I'll work on that.

-------------

Self love.

Boundaries. Care. Rest. SErvice. Work. Meditation. Knowing oneself. Going with flow.